Happy New Year Hammers fans!

I hope you all had wonderful Christmases filled with good food and New Year’s Eve parties adorned with plentiful booze and friends. The Hammers’ boys certainly enjoyed their time off but were raring to go after 5 weeks without games due to the cold weather back in December. Their mood was elevated further when the team sheet came out on Thursday boasting a squad adorned with talent, boasting 11 chaps who have represented the first team as well as the return of a couple of lads from injury. A bit of joue was certainly in order to kick-start the year. The weather on the day was definitely not on the same page though as the wind howled across the pitch and the rain drenched the warm up T-shirts. A little bit of tough rugby would be needed for one half at least it would seem.

And tough rugby is certainly what we got from a good Belsize Park outfit keen to keep their cup run going. The game started well enough with Hammers receiving the restart well and kicking with the wind to play in the right areas in the pitch from the off. It seemed however that the Hammers’ luck was also wet as the weather and from that moment on not a lot went right for the boys. A disorganised kick chase giving the opposition wingers plenty of time and space to run into setting the theme for the day in what was a hard afternoon to swallow. The first half remained attritional throughout with neither team able to take a hold of the game. Belsize kept coming with a nice 50-22 kick giving them a dangerous lineout 15m out from Hammers’ line. The twin towers of James Lalor and Milo Storey however put the hooker under enormous pressure and the referee deemed the throw not straight giving the boys a chance to scrum and exit their own red zone. A contentious penalty decision at said scrum gave the ball right back and Belsize Parks’ scrum half wasted no time in tapping and going quickly, allowing him to take advantage of a retreating defensive line to sneak over and score the first points of the game. With the conversion a 7 point deficit was handed to the boys who decided to stop messing about and get on with it.

The team started putting together some great structural play to get back in the opposition half and really pressure the opposition but their defence was dogged and kept us out for 10 minutes until the half time whistle. A good reaction to going down knowing we’d be playing into the wind from now on. The second half started much the same with Hammers stealing the restart and immediately piling on more pressure and continuing to build momentum. The try line was beckoning but the final pass and the bounce of the ball just never seemed to go our way and Belsize came away unscathed. That theme continued and little went right for the lads from that point on. Good phases ended up with the final pass missing its place, kicks bounced the wrong way just as Rich Vaughan looked to have set himself up to score a wonder try, a solid line out and maul getting held up before the backs could be unleashed. A very frustrating second half…

Belsize Park went on to score 4 tries in the second half which can be explained by some poor defence but mostly by good play from their wingers stepping across the line and picking out mismatches in their favour. The game continued to slip away from the lads in red until a final rally led to a scintillating break in the dying minutes by Sandy Duncan which looked as though it would at least get us a consolation try only for his hamstring to pop 10m out, earning him DOTD (rather harshly in my opinion). That final play rather summed up the afternoon for the Hammers, nothing quite went our way. The rub of the green, as they used to call it back in my day, just not with us.

And so our cup run is over, certainly not the way we wanted to start off a new year which offered such promise, but the only way is up and the league beckons next week at Old Haberdashers. A strong reaction will be no doubt be on everyone’s minds this week for that one.

Final Score 0-31

MOTM – James Maddigan

DOTD – Sandy Duncan (rather harshly) for tearing his hamstring whilst making a breakaway

Two weeks after a disappointing loss against a strong London Scottish side, the 3s were on again at home against the same opposition with a point to prove. As the teams lined up Hammers once again found themselves with the lighter pack but hoped their structure and joué would give them the edge.

It was not to be, with a slick London Scottish side coming hard at the lads from the outside. Confronted by a team that clearly comfortable with each other. stringing together some impressive running rugby in the first half, and the boys found themsleves many points down in the first 20.

Not to be held down, the boys gradually improved.  Imposing themselves physically, Hammers were able to rough them up around the fringes of the ruck, and secured something of a foothold in the game. The – by now notorious – “Palla di Canone” Valerio Marcantognini epitomised this aggression and physicality, terrorising the opposition with his fearsome carries and unapologetic Mediterranean masculinity. He earned himself the man of the match award with his sheer brutality. This physical approach was precisely how the boys scored their first try, when the pack’s repeated heavy carries eventually broke a hole in the defence and Joe Pearce dove over.

Early in the second half the boys pulled back another try when Jake Cheetham sold several defenders a great dummy following an inspired long pass from a mysterious chap called Fergus….

Despite conceding more points in the second half, there was also more joy for the Hammers, as brilliant hands, pace, footwork and offloads eventually saw Mike Cook steam over to finish off a move that started with the opposition kicking into our 22. This was like Australia’s score vs France except significantly more joué.

Despite a few great moments and not saying die until the very final whistle, the boys unable to overtake the considerable lead from Scottish, and the game sadly finished 61-17.

We go again next week, desperate to finish 2022 with a win

A cold, greasy morning met the Hammers 2s as they awoke early for trip to Barnes to scrape their collective knees on the 4G at Rosslyn Park to take on the Bs. Some didn’t make it out of bed however and the usual Saturday morning reshuffle began with lads going up and down the teams like a game of snakes and ladders. This was made more farcical with the opposition announcing they didn’t have a full front row, a proclamation which made the tight 5 say “well what’s the bloody* point of this then” in unison (*the language was far more effervescent as you can imagine from the brains trust but kids might read this), awarding us a 14-0 “lead” to start the game with and then deciding they’d pushed the kick off back a half hour, meaning we may not have gotten back to see Rogan get his 100^th cap, without telling us. Infuriating…

Captain Ross Anderson used this to fire up the boys with a rousing pre match speech full of blue face paint and encouraging language meaning the game started with Hammers receiving and putting in some big carries early on. A good set of phases and some intelligent kicking from our Scottish half back pairing, second only to Ali Price and Finn Russell in my eyes, put us in the oppos 22 early on and fly half Sandy Duncan started his man of the match display by orchestrating the team around the park before dancing his way through the defence and under the posts. Max Dugdale duly converted and the Hammers were 7-0 up (we’ll add the silly “forfeit” tries later to avoid confusion, mostly mine) and looking to extend quickly. A Rosslyn Park lineout on their own 5m was pressurised heavily by Adam Stannard leading to a scrambled exit that was excitedly charged down by Hammers with Sandy Duncan almost collecting his second, only for the post to interfere allowing Huwilagi Parks (I’ll stop now) to reap the rewards from a better period of play. Dugdale M converted again and Hammers were feeling relatively happy at 14-0.

The early pressure did not hold however and had the Hammers putting pressure on themselves by playing too loosely allowing Rosslyn Park to pounce on a poor kick and get into the Hammers 22. Some soft tackling and lacklustre defence gave them the foothold they needed and they soon scored leading to a much needed talking to from coach Nugget. Hammers responded and got the pressure back on Rosslyn Park with some intelligent kicking and some lovely work in the wide channels from our very own Honey Badger, Rich Vaughan, on his first game back in long while. With no scrums in their legs the front row were tasked with doing more around the pitch and hooker Ash Mitchell gleefully stepped up and stepped his way through a number of good carries, which even prompted a rare compliment from Nugget, getting us back towards the Rosslyn Park try line before a Hammers scrum gave Number 8 Ainsley Howard the sort of stability that he could only dream of to have a go at the whitewash himself.

A great carry got us close and a slick backs move almost got us in, a loud call from the right wing then followed suggesting an overlap and some lovely take and give passing first from second row Connor Spruz and then tighthead Rob McKeon, bucking his usual trend for passing to the opposition in the wide channels, put George Nellany in for a well worked try. Dugdale on point once again and the lead extended back out to 21-5. Sustaining these periods was however clearly the issue for the day as Hammers let Rosslyn Park back into the game with a very soft try before half time leaving the boys knowing they needed to up their game in the second half.

The second half started well with back rowers Rob Vaughan, also recently returned to join his twin brother on the field of battle, and Will Parker, a morning call up to the side, putting themselves about, making good hits and threatening turnovers parking us in the opposition 22 again. A good lineout move on the left hand side of the pitch set up more pressure on the try line before Dougy Maxwell completed the front row’s earlier task by scoring in the left corner with what he recalled later in the Temperance as a majestic dive but in truth the air time was heavily hampered by the few weeks of honeymooning he’d recently done in America. The additional holiday weight would have been very helpful in the scrums but alas it was not to be. A fantastic touchline conversion from Ben Hatton took the score up to 28-10 and it seemed as though Hammers might finally build some consistency from this point.

This wasn’t the case however and Rosslyn Park clawed their way back into the game with two tries which could have been more if it wasn’t for a great lineout steal from Adam Stannard and some crucial turnovers from Sandy Duncan earning his MOTM award with hard, body on the line defence. The game hit the hour mark heralding the Hammersmith and Fulham debut of Ben Hibberd in the backline and with Hammers needing the turn the tide back in their favour he quickly put his Queensland rugby league experience to good use by running hard lines into, and through, a tired Rosslyn Park defence to give us front foot ball. A period of sustained pressure was interrupted by a head injury, that was fortunately not too bad, but Hammersmith didn’t let up and Rich Vaughan finally crossed over for his well-deserved try and earning himself a whole team group hug. It’s good to have you back mate. The emotion of the moment clearly got to Max as he missed the conversion leaving the score at 33-20 which is where it finished.

Add in the forfeit tries, which I’ll allow the boys to fight over on Instagram, and we won out 47-20 in the end. Someone needed to tell Nugget that as he seemed to suggest afterward that we’d have lost if it wasn’t for those extra two tries. Clearly he’d missed a couple of our tries somewhere, probably whilst remonstrating about the lack of scrums with Ed Wynne on the side line, earning him the DOTD title.

All in all an inconsistent performance with all of us agreeing that we never really got out of 3^rd gear and that a significant improvement will be needed if we’re going to get revenge on London New Zealand next week. Hopefully Ben Hatton will remember to use the facilities before the game this time around…

Final Score 47-20

Tries – Sandy Duncan, Huw Parks, George Nellany, Doug Maxwell, Rich Vaughan, 2 forfeit tries

Conversions – Max Dugdale (3/4), Ben Hatton (1/1)

MOTM – Sandy Duncan

DOTD – Nugget for thinking we’d have lost the game without those extra points even though we scored 5 tries to their 4

Vets Rugby: where prodigious talent meets inconsistent execution.  Where amazing potential meets infrequent availability.  Where sharp minds meet slowing bodies. Where grand plans meet modest implementation. Where parched lips meet post-match beers. And where, on Friday 18^th November, Hammers Vets met London Welsh.

With 122 current and former Hammers on the Vets WhatsApp group and months of advance notice, debutant Vets’ captain Ed Clark – keen to get his new reign off to a righteous start – had no doubt hoped to select a team embodying the best of the Golden Age of Hammers Rugby. How could he not, for with this battalion of Hurlingham legends regularly penning insightful analysis as to the shortcomings and strengths of various national sides, surely all would clutch at the chance to put their theories into practice?  Would not a team in same vein as those Twickenham heroes who swept all before them also take the field for this first match of the Vets season?

Alas, the pink slips proved harder to find than a beer in a Qatari football stadium. Justifying why he was unanimously voted in as Vets captain despite a plethora of better-looking candidates however, Ed cajoled, begged, and pleaded with the contacts in his phone like man on Tinder at 2am and pulled together a team that had more promise than a Wasps-era Danny Cipriani.  So confident was Ed in the ability of this team to seamlessly gel together he dispensed with the usual lengthy warm up, and trusted that 9 minutes of stretching, lineouts, touch and two run throughs would be more than adequate for this team of aged heroes to find their grove.

The kick-off whistle revealed a London Welsh that was clearly intimated by this unorthodox approach to match preparation and, in response, had elected to employ the most obvious counter…thumping the beejesus out of the Hammers as though it was a 6 Nations grudge match.  Nevertheless, the energy and heart the boys showed in the soaking up this initial Welsh pressure paid off, the Hammers enjoying an early-offside penalty… which was shanked off the side of a boot for only a 6-meter gain.  Early nerves were evident.

With the throwing-and-jumping duties falling to the Ménage à Trois of Maxime (2), John Mowbray (5) and a resurgent James Smart (6), the Hammers “learn-on-the-job” approach ran into the more polished London Welsh approach to the aerial ballet of the line-out and saw them lose the ball.  Several phases later and under pressure out wide, the Hammers line buckled.  0-5 to the visitors.

Accepting the inevitability of conceding an early try while all were still getting used to each other, the Hammers went straight back at Welsh, with Sly Olutayo (14) putting in a big hit off the kick off and forcing the Welsh to run it out from their 22.  From this point the Welsh doubled down in their physical, direct and not-particularly-wide approach to gaining meters, keeping the ball in close to the ruck or reversing it in a classic stack-and-attack blind side offense.  Determined to knock them back, eventually a too-eager Hammers defence saw the Hammers concede an offside penalty, which Welsh kicked deep and regathered in the ensuing lineout.  Blunting the maul, desperate defence at the ruck saw an eager Richard Hodson (3) cruelly penalised what appeared to be a class jackal that was again mauled by the Welsh, this time to scoring effect.  0-12.

At this point, the Hammers jigsaw started to come together and play with more fluidity and intelligence in the open play.  Eager to keep the ball away from the Welsh forwards, Ed Clark (9) and Felix (10) began to spread the ball wider in attack, regularly finding Rob Hankey (13) and a lurking Steve Harington (7) to probe the soft spots.  Growing in confidence, the Hammers found themselves several times visiting the Welsh 22, frustratingly unable to convert meters or possession into points thanks to an improving-but-still-dysfunctional line-out.  The set piece bleeding turned literal at this point, with stalwart’s Hodson and Mowbray injuring themselves in a collapsed scrum, Mowbray to the point of having to go to veterinary surgery to get a few stitches to his ear.  Other injuries also began to stack up – Larry Furniss showed importance of never missing “shoulder-day”, while Smarty got a cramp, abused a physio who had the nerve to try and help him, and then went off for a wee rest.  With benches emptying, the half-time score was 0 -12.

The break proved a game changer.  Seb Money – fresh from challenging his reflection to a game of Supa 5s – joined the field to replace Hudson in the row, whilst Clarky moved to 10, Felix to 15, and on came Will Finn at 9. Immediately from the restart, pressure from Sly resulted in a Welsh knock on and a Hammers scrum inside the Welsh 22.  This time holding their own in the scrum, Harrington picked from the base, beat the defenders, and scored by the posts.  Clearly concerned at the prospect of there being only 35 minutes left to play and unsure if the Hammers could overcome the mountainous 5-point deficit in that time, Felix disregarded the convenience of using his own kicking-tee and instead advised Clarky that he was 100% sure he would slot what was a drop-kick from in front of the posts…

…which he then shanked, securing his Tin-Man post-match beer.  5-12 Hammers.

London Welsh came back strong and similarly to the first half, played to their strengths.  A series of penalties saw Welsh maul from the corner, and then when that failed to produce points, pick-and-go over the Hammers line despite some valiant defence by Julian Draper (6), Jack Mooney (20), and Ollie Brothwood (12).  5-19 to Welsh, followed by a similar try minutes later, 5-24.

At this point, the game changed. Starting to really gel, the Hammers began to play like the Barbarians, keeping the ball alive and running a tiring Welsh defensive line edge-to-edge.  With Will Finn (9) feeding the ball to coming-around-the-corner forwards, and Clarky able to rely on Rob, Jack and a lose forward unit clearly fitter than Welsh, holes began to open.  Meters were made.  Confidence flowed, to the point where even Steve Harrington disregarded a 4-on-2 overlap and instead decided to chip-and-chase from inside our own 22.  Madness!  Under pressure, the Welsh sought to kick their way out of trouble, only to find “snake-hips’ Felix running back at them holding the ball in one hand like a Fijian 7s player.  A dog-leg defence and lazy tackling allowed the Hammers to pass the ball through the hands and back again for Felix to cross over! 10-24!

London Welsh came back at the Hammers, determined. A yellow card for a Jack Mooney tip tackle saw the boys holding the line with 14 but desperate defence would see them concede no more points. Strips from AB, turnovers from Smarty, ruck inspecting from Seb – heroic stuff. And when we did have the ball, we not only looked dangerous, we were dangerous, culminating in a classic 9 snipe from Will Finn to score from 30 meters out in the dying minutes.  The final score; 15-24.

Retiring the bar, the boys were left to rue what might have been had the pieces come together a little earlier in the game, but there was much promise to take away from the first match of the season.  With the next match now in Feb, all are warned – get the date in the diary, there’s Hammers Rugby to be played!

Man-of-Match: Steve Harrington, for his running, aggression, and because he promised he would never kick again!

Tin-Man: Felix, for his misplaced confidence in his own drop kicking ability!