Two clubs, both alike in league…

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Two clubs, both alike in league,
In fair West London, where we play our scene,
From an ancient Hammers home win break to new mutiny,
Where OPs big hits made quick Hammers hands unclean.
From forth the line speed of these two foes
A pair of star-cross’d centres take their tries;
Those misadventured lineout overthrows
Do with their length bring their coaches’ strife.
The fearful passage of the Hammer’s near-mark’d breaks,
And the continuance of their opponents’ rage,
Which, but the Ref’s whistle end, nought could remove,
Is now the one hour twenty traffic of our veo replay;
The which if you with eagle eyes attend,
What most shall miss, our write up shall strive to mend…

1st Half. Old Priorians RFC. 1st Team Pitch. – 04:23 minutes in 

Hammersmith and Fulham kicked off to Old Priorians, 1st and 2nd place respectively in Regional Thames 1, armed with feet and flair.

Old Priorians – 12:36 minutes in

After an opening 8 minutes of back and forth with both sides showing potential but meeting stern defence the OPs gained a chance at a 45m penalty kick, which was well taken by their 10.

OPs 3 – 0 Hammers

Old Priorians – 27:17 minutes in 

After further ping and pong, Déjà vu emerged as another long penalty chance was presented for the OPs 10 around 40 metres out. This time missed, the Hammers recognised the need for caution in our own half.

OPs 3 – 0 Hammers

Old Priorians – 35:29 minutes in

Straight off an innocuous scrum a neat offload through the Hammers tackle let OPs centres join up and evade cover to make 30 metres to the line. The first lapse in the Hammers defence, and the pressure mounted. Some saving grace as the OPs 10 again faltered in the wide conversation.

OPs 8 – 0 Hammers

Hammers – 53:30 minutes in 

After much more a muchness the Hammers made a push in the final act of the first 40.  Two breaks in under a minute showed the danger the Hammers could pose, with the line twice tantalisingly close. But OPs dug in and covered well, forcing a spill and the close of the half.

Teams exit for halftime

OPs 8 – 0 Hammers

2nd Half begins – 60:57 minutes in

After a halftime talk Henry V would be proud of, the Hammers came out intent make amends for the frustrations and near-misses of the first half.

Old Priorians kick off to Hammersmith and Fulham with an 8 point lead and 40 minutes to play.

Hammers – 68:09 minutes in 

Capitalising on a scrum in good field position 10 metres from the OPs line the backs generated quick ball from the resulting ruck. Hart, the Hammers most eligible second row/back row/centre then made it wide to take the pass from Doctor Steve, apply the acceleration, and make it over the line in the corner just ahead of OPs covering party.

Despite lining up with the corner flag Captain Caravan fired a corker between the posts to bring Hammers just one point behind OPs.

OPs 8 – Hammers 7

Hammers – 77:00 minutes in 

With the game finely balanced after OPs quelled the Hammers’ post half-time momentum drama erupted as OPs capitalised on a loose ball to break from the halfway into the Hammer’s 22. A good chase led to a turnover and a moment of opportunity missed by Hammers as OPs piled into the ruck. The Hammers usual vision missed the mismatch as six fast players lined up against tree of the OPs front five across 50 metres of space. Unfortunately, orthodoxy prevailed and hammers box-kicked marginally clear leaving hindsight to rue what could have been. OPs then took another shot at the Hammers line but were held out before play returned to more neutral ground.

Hammers – 100:20 minutes in

As the final whistle closed in the Hammers eventually got the break they’d been working for with a penalty 40 minutes out in front of the posts. Caravan stepped up again and claimed the 3 points, pushing Hammers ahead with just under 10 minutes to play.

OPs 8 – Hammers 10

Old Priorians – 102:03 minutes in

Alas, the Hammers lead was short lived. OPs kicked off and Hammers gathered but got caught napping as the catcher got caught and isolated with the OPs 7 forcing a penalty for holding on in front of the posts. This time the OPs 10 didn’t miss, and returned the lead to the home team.

OPs 11 – Hammers 10

The Final Whistle – 109:44

With everything on the line the final minutes passed slowly, but unfortunately for the Hammers were all too reflective of the game as a whole. Each side cancelled the other out, OPs kick chase playing for field position and Hammers inaccuracies  limited their ability to beat the defensive line on the return despite extended possession.

Hammers lost the ball in contact a final time and OPs kicked it clear for the ref to blow the full-time whistle.

Final Score OPs 11 – Hammers 10

Prologue:

Despite being setback by another 1-point loss, Hammers still have the league title in their sight. With three home games in a row following the final break week of the year the boys will be ready to make amends.

 

 

 

Hammers 4s give Wasps a sting!

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The date is 14th January and the mighty 4’s took a trip west to face a fierce (and ageing?) Wasps side who had a lot more to offer than anticipated. Hopes in the team were high following on from last weekends win over a strong Belsize Park team. We were lucky to find out that we would be playing on the 4G pitch because al the other pitches had been turned into swimming pools.
The game started with a strong outfit who were tested in defence. For the first 25 minutes of the game, the Hammers saw little of the ball, with some hard carries from the Wasps pack. Despite a constant onslaught, the Hammers defence proved impenetrable with some super shots going in from Rory and many others to deny Wasps 2 tries early on. However some penalties allowed them to take an early 3-0 lead. Turns out that sidelined captain Seb Moneys prediction that “the crusty old c*nts in their back line would offer us nothing” turned out not to be 100% true. After this first possession-less stint, the 4’s soon got some ball and the points started to roll in, with some super assists from Heapsy and company to put the Hammers 3 tries up in the first half.
Half Time score Hammers 21-Wasps 3
In the second half it was a similar story with rolling subs occurring and a tenacious Wasps attacking display rewarding them with a try late on in the half. Particular second half shout outs go to Will Gibbs for managing to channel his inner Haskell and run into the post instead of scoring, and to Joe Pearce for an excellent propping debut surviving a total of 1 scrum before being subbed off again due to a lack of practice. Two late tries and a late attack from Wasps gave them a final consolation score.
The game ended a well deserved 35-13 win to the Hammers – uppa 4’s!

Hammers Women’s 1st XV travel far to come up short against Hackney

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It was another wonderfully cold and windy day for rugby when the Hammers made their way across London to face Hackney. It had been a tight victory to the Hammers when Hackney visited Hurlingham so we knew we were in for a tough battle. That was true straight from the off. Hard carries and hits disrupted the structure of both teams with many (many) scrums needed. It was a tight arm wrestle in the forwards up front with neither side wanting to concede an inch. However, eventually Hackney managed to break the deadlock with a break on the outside to score. 5-0. Hammers came straight back, camping out in the Hackney 22 for the rest of the first half to put pressure on the hosts but were unable to convert pressure into points.
After regrouping at half time Hammers took it straight to Hackney. Ill-discipline from the hosts allowed Hammers into the 22 and tight pod work drew the forwards in. Quick ball out to the backs allowed a strong carry from Kaye to crash over the line. The conversion was unsuccessful keeping the score level at 5-5. Hackney weren’t deterred by this and continued to bring the intensity. After possession changed hands multiple times, Hackney made their way back into the Hammers 22. Quick ball from their 10 and sharp offloading put their winger into space and over the line once again 12-5. Hammers attempted to rally but a rising penalty count led to a team yellow card for Chloe J. After another penalty confusion allowed Hackney to take a quick tap giving them the space to cut through the retreating Hammers defence and score 17-5. While Hammers continued to fight through to the last minute, it wasn’t to be.
A disappointing day but we go again this weekend against Wimbledon at home. See you there.

Hammers Women’s 2nd XV toil hard against class Barnes side

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The 2s trip to Barnes this week was sure to be a tough game, facing an oppo who are challenging for the top of the table this year (and who’s 2s we played only 2 seasons ago in NC3!).

As anticipated, Barnes came at us from kick off with early pressure. Their speed and physicality made it tough for Hammers to build any consistent offence to match. Despite some strong carries, and lovely backs moves with fast hands, Barnes’ pressure eventually told and they broke the deadlock. 
 
Every single Hammer put in a shift that would make the club proud, doing their best to compete with a team that wouldn’t look out of place in Champ 2 (and probably will be next year!). The vibes throughout the team were immaculate, with heads held high throughout our toughest match to date. We know what we’re aiming for, and will learn from games like this. 
 
Onwards to London Welsh, a key battle for the 2s with the club coming together to support! We move #TWOOSH.

A Glorified Game of Stuck in the Mud

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Hammersmith & Fulham made the trip up to Watford this weekend to what can only be described as a fierce London derby against Fullerians. The home side have proven themselves as strong opponents this season with notable victories against Old Priorians and Belsize Park. With this in mind, the boys from West London prepared themselves for what would be a major test in the club’s journey to success this season, and a possible turning point to re-igniting the teams early form in the league.

On arrival, the gravity of the situation hit the boys as hard as a Tuesday night fitness session from Ian Burbedge. Soon after arrival, the squad were quickly made aware that all pitches were flooded except for one… this was not what Hammers wanted to hear given their fairly unproblematic and successful performance in the league so far, number 5 second row looked especially worried as he pulled out his molds ready for a day of scrummaging in the mud.

As predicted, Fullerians came out pumped up for a battle and set the tone with some strong early carries into a stern opposing line, this was followed by some kick tennis, ending with a line out for Hammers in enemy territory. Tommy Proctor licked his lips with anticipation as he began to dream up the fabulous line out to follow, which was executed perfectly. However, the following maul set up went straight to ground, referee awarding the first of many scrums, and such began the long game of stuck in the mud.

Hammers were first to draw blood in the game early after 13 mins following a great steal challenging the Fullerians disorganised line out. They quickly shifted the ball to the edge attacking with great pace in the backs and then quickly turned inwards punching holes through the Fullerians back line until Jacob Poulton carried the ball (and two or three defenders) across the line with him to put the reds up by 5. Joe Carolan followed up with the conversion, which unbeknownst to him at the time, gave the best conversion rate so far this season at 100%, and we can only wish this continues.

However the home side didn’t wait long to respond and the clean sheet for Hammers was dirtied only minutes after their own score. Fullerians struck initially through their strong scrum pushing Hammers back into their own 22. Following some strong defense from the away team, Fullerians eventually attacked the blind side and scored through a fabulous offload opening up the space for their winger to finish on the touchline. Luckily the conversion didn’t go over, leaving the score at 5-7, which it remained until the final whistle.

Following the score from the home side, the weather worsened leading to poor handling from both sides. Along with some turnstile defense from the away team the home side were able to continue pushing forward and exerting their strength in the scrums. Hammers subsequently made a change to the front row to attempt to combat the Fullerian dominance in the scrum with the strength and experience of Andrew Rogan, at the sprightly age of 41 and 100 caps for the club… He was subsequently yellow carded 5mins later.

More exhilarating scrummaging continued after half time on the ever-deteriorating pitch with plenty of errors in attack from both sides. Returning winger Matt Killeen took great pleasure in dishing out his signature chat to his opposite number and hunted the next of 6 tries that would get him back to top dog in tries for the season, however it just wasn’t meant to be.

Late in the day Fullerians earned themselves a penalty 30 meters out with the chance to take the lead but couldn’t convert and some determined defense and control on the ball got Hammersmith & Fulham through to the final whistle and four points to put them 12 up at the top of the league.

This week H&F are at the fortress of Hurlingham Park facing Aylesbury hoping to emulate their away victory of 53-24 over the side back in October.

Man of the Match – Bryce Morgan

Nause of the Match – Rogan

Hammers Women’s 1st get the double over Ye Old Enemy Hampstead!

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Thankfully the storm from last week has passed and the Hammers were blessed with (mostly) sunshine at Hurlingham to face off against Hampstead. After a tough loss in terrible conditions last week, Hammers were keen to bounce straight back and that’s exactly what we did. Hammers had possession from kick off and looked to make good ground early on. Our game plan worked well with good phases carrying us into the Hampstead half and then 22. Hard carries from the forwards got us within inches of the line with a big carry from Fred. Tappers (sensing the opportunity for a score) picked and dived over the line (and Fred) to score our first try. Conversion from Sirri 7-0.

Hammers struck again not-too-soon afterwards with Ella making a great inside line to cut through the Hampstead defence and over the whitewash. 12-0. Hampstead weren’t to be underestimated though as they started to fight back through turnovers and some Hammers ill discipline. Their quick off loading game paid off as they worked it around to the outside to score. Conversion made it 12-7. Hammers concentration dropped slightly and Hampstead scored again immediately after kick-off, moving the ball around quickly to score in the corner again. 12-14. Hampstead felt the tide had turned in their favour and pushed for another score before halftime. However, Hammers had rallied under the posts and refocused. Our defence was strong and we held the ball up over the line to break the Hampstead attack and give ourselves some breathing room going into halftime.

In the second half Hammers came out fighting, camping out in the Hampstead half looking for the score to take the lead. Hampstead ill-discipline led to a yellow card for a high tackle (the ref had been clear from the start that she would card for this offence). There were some nice plays from the backs, looking to play the ball at pace with the player overlap, that were unable to convert against a strong Hampstead rush defence. Finally our efforts paid off with Kaye smashing over to score and put Hammers back in front 17-14. The match turned into a tight arm wrestle with Hammers hunting for that all important bonus point score and Hampstead working to try and regain the lead. A high tackle on Kaye by the returning Hampstead yellow carded player led to a second yellow and therefore a red (for anyone that is unfamiliar with this rule – if you have two yellow cards in a game it becomes a red card automatically so please avoid!). Hampstead still held up strong despite being a man down until a loose ball at the back of a Hampstead ruck allowed Chloe J to get boot on ball and make a break. The ball was then popped to Amy D who made a great run to make our bonus point score and her first Hammers 1XV try! Sirri converted to make it 24-14. 1 1/2 minutes of ball protection in our own half later Alex W was able to boot the ball out to end the game.

Final score 24-14

 We went into this match with the aim of getting a bonus point win and I’d say we absolutely smashed it! Each and everyone of you should be proud of the effort you put in on the pitch. Everyone left it out there to get this win. Our support work off the ball is what led to our tries – a true team effort all round. We have a weekend off this week so please make it to training if you can. As Ben said after the game, it’s the effort we put in outside of matches that will mean we can keep getting these wins. I’ll see you guys tonight!

 

Forward of the match – Emma Stilwell for her incredible carries and intensity through all 80mins

Back of the match –  Chloe Jennings for her smart plays both around the breakdown and in open play

Super sub – Amy Duff for great impact off the bench including scoring her first Hammers 1XV try which got the bonus point!

 

Hammers 3s inspired in local Derby

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The heavens opened on southwest London to leave Hurligham Parks looking more like a swamp than a rugby pitch, but this wouldn’t deter the men of Hammersmith. The return fixture against Chiswick 2s awaited what on paper would be a strong Hammers 3s. With the ref’s chat about cold IPAs and the apparent healthy Christmas from some of the hammer backs ringing in the ears, the lads stepped foot onto the field, ready. The rain would not put off either team, and as Matt Jones would say “Lads, it’s F***ing Chiswick, lets go”.

Both teams started slowly with mistakes across the board, presumably due to the abhorred weather that has fallen just moments previously. After a lapse in concentration Chiswick broke through the line to score an unconverted try, leaving the hammers under the posts looking around for inspiration. This prompted some good play to see Hammersmith work hard and camp in the Chiswick half unfortunately coming away with little to show from it. Some lack lustre defence saw Chiswick again cross the whitewash shortly after prompting yet more questions to be asked through the hammer ranks. 0-10 was not pretty reading for the boys in red, but shortly before the half saw Sam Nursey dived over in the corner, after some great forwards driving line outs and some strong running from big aussie Ben, to finally ignite the fire within the hammer’s lads. A conversion from Max Dugdale saw a half time score of 7-10.

The second half saw the Hammersmith contingent invigorated and came out firing, with the set piece looking dominant there was a great platform for the Hammersmith back to launch attack after attack. Finally, this dominance in both attack and defence saw the general in the middle Matt Newman squeeze himself across the try line to put Hammersmith in front for the first time in the game.

The hammers continued to rumble on with a try from Ash Mitchel where the good honesty of Chiswick defenders reversed the initial decision of the referee to eventually award the tries that should have been given in the first place. This gave opportunity for Max Dugdale to step up to the tee and add to his seasons tally with the boot. A commanding position from Hammersmith .

Even with the light fading and the wind beginning to beat down on Hurligham park the Hammersmith boys continued to play a brand of rugby described as joué. Strong carries from the pack and an ascendancy in the scrum really set the tone for a strong finish. With the cavalry on, Chiswick began to tire, leading to another dart down the wing from Nursey to go over for a brace. This time converted by centre and definitely not hooker, Huw Parks. Quick ruck speed continued and flying hands from the outside backs made easy work of breaking down the Chiswick defence, leading to captain Adam Stannard crashing over. Not wanting to be accused of jug avoidance, again Sam Nursey found himself on the end of some neat backs play, where a quick jink inside the fullback put his nerves at rest as he dotted down for his third, Dugdale added the extras. 38-10 with moments to go was a nice position for Hammersmith to be in but alas, Chiswick capitalised on the content of the Hammers win to get a try in the dying seconds.

The match finished up 38-15 and the 3s roll on to Grasshopper next week.

MOTM – James Lalor, somewhat due to his fine break down work and poaching in the line out, but mostly because he just asked really nicely for it.

DOTD– Huw Parks, for being mistaken for a hooker, and butchering Nursey’s opportunity for a 4th try.

 

 

Hammers 1XV Victorious After Extended Break

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As the old saying goes, good things come to those who wait. Which is true of both the game against Old Haberdashers and this match report.

After over a month without rugby, Hammers 1XV returned after the Christmas break with a hotly anticipated match against Old Haberdashers. Though the conditions were dire, the excitement around Hurlingham Park was palpable as the crowd began to grow.

With the wind gathering and rain beginning to fall, Hammers kicked off the first half. With a bit of aerial tennis to start the game, both teams tried to gain a foothold in the game. Eventually it was Old Habs who won a penalty and hoofed it deep into the Hammers half, however nothing was to come of it.

The next real action came after a sliced clearance kick from Old Habs, with Hammers applying some good pressure before a great kick into the Old Habs 22 resulted in a 5-metre lineout. Hammers turned the lineout over, however knocked it on. Old Habs cleared well from the resulting scrum penalty. Poor discipline then cost Hammers again, giving away a penalty at the breakdown which Old Habs kicked well into the Hammer half. After some good pressure and a few scrum penalties, Old Habs took the lead with a kick at goal. 0-3 Old Habs.

Hammers then applied pressure, with some sustained time in the Old Habs half. Though they did defend well, Old Habs could consider themselves very fortunate to not be down to 14 men with their centre giving away two very blatant deliberate knock-ons in their own 22. With festive spirit still running high, the referee decided to leave the offences unpunished.

Both teams ground out the first half, evidently struggling with some post-Christmas lethargy, as nothing else really happened. Half time and the score was still 0-3 Old Habs.

It was much of the same for start of the second half until the galloping Alex Spicer made a fantastic break through the middle of the Old Habs defence. After being brought down just short of the try line, Hammers recycled the ball quickly and span it out wide before Bryce Morgan finished well in the corner. Calls of “That’s more like it Hammersmith” and “About bloody time” could be heard from the touchline, and right they were. Conversion missed, 5-3 Hammers.

 It was Old Habs who struck next. After building some good phases in the Hammers half, they caught the defence sleeping on the blindside. It was the most of routine finishes, however it left a difficult kick out wide which could not be converted. 5-8 Old Habs.

 At this point Hammers realised they were in a game and remembered how to play rugby. A missed kick to touch by Old Habs allowed Hammers to quickly counter. 3 slick passes later and Ed Haynes was in under the posts. Conversion easily slotted, 12-8 Hammers.

 After some back and forth between the two teams, Hammers won a well worked line out and carried hard for two phases before cutting back against the flow of play. The Old Habs defence parted like the Red Sea and Joe Carolan jogged in under the posts. Another simple conversion followed, 19-8 Hammers.

 Next, it was time for Old Habs’ discipline to cause them some problems. With the ball bouncing around in the corner and no one committed to diving on it, it bobbled over the Old Habs try line. Tim Russell looked sure to dive on it and score were in not for an incredibly cynical pull from Old Habs. The ref was not impressed and awarded a penalty try. 26-8 Hammers.

 In true Hammers fashion, a strong finish ensued. Joe Carolan made a great break before being brought down at the Old Habs 5 metre line.  After a couple of offloads, the ball ended up on the floor. Miraculously, it appeared right at Carolan’s feet as he stood up and he flopped over the line for the easiest finish of the season. Conversion spooned wide, 31-8 Hammers.

 After a good take from the subsequent kick off, some clever play from Dugdale at the base of the ruck led to a great break. He squared up the last Old Habs defender and unselfishly gave the ball to Tim Russell who dotted down for Hammers final try of the game. Conversion made, 38-8 Hammers.

 There was time for one final kick off, however there were no more points to be scored. Like many games of late, Hammers started slow but ended well. Old Habs made a great game of it, with a much grittier performance than the reverse fixture earlier in the season.

Final Score: Hammersmith & Fulham 38 – 8 Old Haberdashers

Special Mention to Ricky Drewitt who played his final game for Hammers before moving home to Southampton. Whilst we will not be retiring his squad number or putting a statue in the car park, he will be missed at the club.

Hammers Women’s 2s don’t stop fighting against strong Oxford Quinns

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On a glorious Sunday that can only be described to be in direct contrast with the tsunami of last week, Hammers arrived in oxford to take on the 4th in the league. The main shock of the day: they play on 4G (and we all know how we love 4G 😂).
Oxford were a very good outfit but Hammers got stuck in from the off camping out in Oxford’s half for the 1st 10 mins. Oxford ran in the first try with a break down the wing but Hammers struck back with some heavy forward carries and a reaching score by Whylie under the posts! After a few more big collisions it became apparent we were not big fans of the surface, preferring the slip-slidey conditions of Lake Hurlingham to the friction burn of 4G – home is where the heart (and mud) is 😁.
A few more break from Oxford saw them put a barrage of tries on us but Hammers stayed in the fight and managing to score one more of our own. A few early injuries and the loss of Tara at 10 saw us lose a bit of the shape and structure we’ve been working so hard on but we go again (Shout out ambulance teams in Oxford who arrived before the ref had even finished talking to the dispatch team on the phone, veryyy impressive stuff).
There is always something to be learnt from games like this, Oxford’s support play, offloading, speed at the ruck was brilliant and we can definitely look to work on that in our game but perhaps most importantly was the heart and focus you girls showed all game even after we had a player (captain and 10 no less) go off in an ambulance was something to be admired ❤️
Final score – 86-12Forward of the match – Irene: The front row who absolutely LOVES a tap and go. Made huge tackles, huge carries and always the first in support of all quick pens. Also played all 3 front row positions on the day 😄 Special mention Natasha for some truly epic tackles!!Back of the match – Lucy Ward: Played about 3 different positions in the game and made try saving tackles all over the place you absolute hero!

Heroic Hammers hold out brave Belsize on day of ruinous rainstorms and not-so running rugby.

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With losses and cancellations the order of the day for December, Hammers 4th XV ended 2022 on a sour note; the lads eager to get back to winning ways in 2023.

Fattened up on minced pies, boy did they show it. With the weather looking biblical from the offset, a strong squad graced the passing public with an exhibition in defensive doggedness in the Regent’s Park rain.

Perennial rivals Belsize came out swinging, and in the opening stages a good-natured heavyweight slug ensued on the soft turf. Turnovers mounted as the tackles rained down, the ref letting the game flow; Belsize, like the rain, regularly coming in at the side.

After putting up with the dodgy chat of distant relatives all Christmas, it was clear to see players from both sides weren’t here to fuck spiders. Following a succession of particularly bone-crunching hits, slippery eel Sam Nursery cleared up a loose ball and ghosted through the middle of the park to set Hammers 7-up.

Five minutes of goal-line defence later, Hammers escaped their own 22, only for fly-half Joel Mariner to, unsurprisingly, have difficulty finding touch kicking into a gale force crosswind. Fortunately for Hammers, in his first rugby match in 6 months debut wing Will Ridge got to the bouncing ball first, and scurried under the sticks for 7 more.

Fortuitous? Maybe. Cue the music.

Belsize came roaring back, with quick ball and structured phase play, in a pulsating 10-minute spell that robbed the oxygen of even the suspiciously trim-looking Steve Danby. When they did get their hands on the ball, Hammers looked out on their feet, and struggled to hold on to it against a physical Belsize team not used to losing.

The New Year’s Eve hangovers suddenly seemed much less than a week prior as Hammers players desperately pulled their muckers back into the defensive line to try and stem the tide. It was in vain – a brace of quickfire scores out wide pulled Belsize near-level.

But, with spirit aplenty, Hammers came back fighting. Stand up and be counted, you ugly bastards:

Stand-in scrum-half Sam Smith had the best view as the 8-man tractor engine, commonly referred to as the Hammersmith & Fulham 4th team scrum, motored up the park so convincingly they nearly fell down the stairs at Baker Street station.

Strong running lines and impressively disciplined phase play from the imperious forwards set the electric backline up to put Hammers within arms-length of the whitewash; Guy Woodhouse and Ben Osgood impressing with clever running lines that made you briefly wonder if the Fiji team were running through their trick book at the Dubai Sevens – never mind the weather.

Man of the match Russel Wingfield, a willing runner and leading tackler all day, eventually crossed to send Hammers into the break exhausted but pumped, and – crucially – 21-12 ahead. Spirits up.

Coach Ian’s fitness sessions paid dividends as the second half got underway: Belsize began to go backwards in attack as Hammers turned the screw and exerted more control on the game, eventually turning a composed rear-guard action into a full-frontal assault on the Belsize boys.

On another day Belsize could have been down to 13 or 14, with the ref having a few choice words as the goal-line penalties mounted. The cheddar stayed sheathed however, and after some further questionable competition at the breakdown, Hammers were stuck with slow ball, leading to a few spurned opportunities.

A minute of missed chances was the only black mark in an otherwise clean book for the boys in red, but one which did lead to some bizarre sights such as Ben WasGood attempting a through-the-legs pass.

Dick of the day? You’d have thought so.

Eventually Wingfield broke through for his deserved second after scrummie Smithy managed some quicker ball and attacked the fringes, but with hooker Danby somehow allowing himself to get charged down on the conversation it was still a two-score game heading into the final 15 (another DOTD contender, you’d have thought).

Increasingly desperate attempts to break through came from the never-say-die Belsize team, with only a last-ditch intervention from back row Jack McGregor allowing Clement Bourdin and full-back Nursery to hold the powerful Belsize backs up over the line in the final 5 mins.

Hammers held out for an impressive second-half clean sheet, and after a short half-marathon to the Belsize Pub enjoyed a few jars with the opposition. Final score, 26-12, bring on the Semis.