Hammers fall short against Medway

 The Hammers approached their game of 2022 with a spring in their step. With our resident Doctor officially describing Omicron as “finished”, it was to be our first game in a month. And what a game to head straight into. 3rd Vs 4th. Win and the Hammers would take 3rd and be looking at chasing the top two of Camberley and London Welsh. Lose and Medway would open up a decent gap, leaving the Hammers marooned on the desert island of 4th. Five new year training sessions under the belt, coach Jacko having detailed at length what was at stake, and a new fines system being enforced, the boys were feeling confident and ready to attack our visitors from Kent.

The first few minutes were played at quite the pace. The Hammers launched an attack from deep and got on the outside of the Medway defence, making yards but our experienced winger JLo (no one really knows exactly how old he is) was guilty of coughing up the ball. The Hammers’ right-wing played witness to the battle of the honey badgers. Timmy ‘Le Snack’ Russell, so impressive all season long, came up against his doppelganger. On this occasion, the Kentish imitator got the upper-hand (-off) in, making a break before smartly recycling possession on the Hammers’ 5-yard line. 2 phases later and some good handling had Medway over in the corner.

Rapidly, a Caravan special kick-off, followed by some ill-discipline on their own 10m line meant that the boys in Red & White were 8-0 down. The Hammers needed a response and got one via a rare line-out maul try. A good dart by Gus to the back and a well-constructed maul saw big Ed cross the whitewash. 8-7 and the Hammers were in the game.

This was to prove a false dawn. Medway kicked well, which can’t be said of the Hammers’ backline, regularly turning a reformed back-three after Lav went off early with a nasty rib injury. With a solid platform at set-piece, they attacked with structure to score once more, going in 15-7 at the break.

Early in the second-half, the Hammers suffered a major blow, with Gus Brown suffering a head knock and taking a pew on the bench. With no specialist hooker on the bench, Andrew ‘The Hinge’ Rogan plonked himself into the middle of the scrum, with Poulton assuming line-out throwing duties for the first time in his long and storied playing career. Whilst the line-out held out OK, Medway turned the screw at scrumtime, earning themselves two further tries, with the Hammers securing only another lineout maul in return.

The game ended in further ignominy, with star winger JLo suffering a hamstring tear which we hope heals quickly.

Final Score: Hammers 12 – 29 Medway

Hammers 2nd XV defeat Old Habs

The day arrived with optimism a plenty as the highly anticipated away bus trip to Harpenden RFC (playing host to our opposition Old Hab’s due to waterlogged pitches) was only a matter of hours, maybe minutes away for the 20 men of Hammersmith and Fulham Rugby Football Club 2XV.

 

Unfortunately, like all great stories, life doesn’t always go to plan, and it seemed as if the protagonist at the local bus company decided to have a few too many bottles of Lambrini on his Friday night off. Minutes past, numerous trips to the 8 bells urinals followed, and with coffee disseminating through the bowels, still no bus. Captain Cook gathered the troops in a circle to deliver the fatal blow that no bus would be arriving, and that alternative forms of transport should be sourced to deliver the men to the boggy marshes of Harpenden RFC.

The local Uber drivers couldn’t believe their luck when the men came calling, with 100 quid each for 2 hours work, to fund the rest of their weekend behind the wheel, racing each other on the M1. A short and blunt warm up followed, with a few too many interjections from Conductor Nugget and the team were left with no choice but to try and deliver a 50-nil mauling of the opposition….

The Hammers men started well, dominating possession and territory, without much avail before Ricky ‘White Line Fever’ Drewitt got himself on the back of a rolling lineout maul before finding himself ‘held up’. Whilst the match adjudicator enjoyed his pre match discussion with the boys, he forgot to mention that his subscription to Specsavers had actually expired before Covid in 2019. Finally, after some slick hands from HFRFC’s answer to Damian McKenzie, the Hammers got their reward with a 5 pointer in the corner from the author of this report. Nothing else of note really happened in the first half so we will pause there.

At half time, a shuffle of the deck saw some changes to the back line, and the introduction to the field of the ‘stockier’ kamikaze twin, Max Dugdale, for his debut. With the opposition confused, the Dugdale’s started to bamboozle, and the ball started to go wider and wider, with more points following from Mr White Line Fever himself, who finished the game with a double. 22-0 to the boys with 5 to go, and one score needed for the coveted BP win. As the opposition pushed for any form of consolation, the author found himself on the floor, being pinned down by what can only be described as an angry testosterone fuelled young man, with 2 yellow cards following, and 2 DOTD nominations in the clubhouse. No more scores and the game finished like a damp squid, and with some disappointment from the Hammers men- hopefully this wouldn’t have any bearing when the season concludes in April.

What followed can only be described as an evening of wonderful entertainment, headed up by some excellent pirate jokes from Rich Vaughan, a dodgy impending intercourse story involving someone’s sister from an unnamed source, and some exquisite piano playing at Kings Cross St Pancras Station by Ben Osgood, followed by a good old game of ‘d* y** t*** i* u* the *******’ where every player got an opportunity to vent away the day’s frustrations on their fellow colleagues.

Full time: HFRFC 22-0 Old Habs

Another miraculous come-from-far-behind win for the Hammers 1st XV

Eighteen men sit around a changing room. They are in unfamiliar lands, yet in all too familiar territory. Forty minutes have passed and even now, the wear of battle has begun to take its toll. At the general’s command, eighteen men stand to attention, bearing crimson wounds to match crimson jerseys. Could everything be put on the line so months of grit and toil would not be in vain? That was something only they could decide.

As the eighteen men march out to determine their destiny, the scoreboard in the distance reads 19-0 to Cobham.

Record scratch

Freeze frame 

Intro to Baba O’Riley plays

Yup, that’s us.

You’re probably wondering how we ended up in this situation. Our expectations were certainly not quixotic in nature. Training had been sharp. Club captain Rogan, whose attempted coup to oust 1st XV captain Joe Caravan had been uncovered earlier that week, avoided past errors by not mixing up Cobham with Chobham. Arriving at the correct location, Alex Spicer successfully freed his car from the staff car park. And all about the Cobham away changing-room was a spirited air of relaxed confidence. The warm-up was focused, and with jerseys donned and final words enunciated, battle commenced.

However, as in weeks past, Hammers once again succumbed to the cacoethes of starting poorly. Immediately from the kick-off, we began to give ground and conceded penalties and unforced errors galore. Firmly with possession, a zealous Cobham attack met a sluggish Hammers defence, and within a few short phases and against all vaticinations, it was Cobham that crossed the whitewash first. 5-0 to Cobham.

General Jacko wasted no words in galvanising the squad, and immediately from the restart, this author can report he wiped out the Cobham second row who caught the ball. This author, however, is far less proud to report that he did so while that Cobham player was still airborne. The referee, Laodicean to calls for some cheese to be branded, nonetheless awarded Cobham the penalty and Hammers found themselves back within our own 22. Within a few more phases, Cobham once again crossed the whitewash. 12-0 to Cobham.

After a long back-and-forth with both sides having good chances, Hammers appeared to finally settle into the game. However, our woes would only increase in the lead up to half-time. A short and high-box kick put up by Cobham caused confusion and consternation among Hammers’ ranks. With no clear communication, Cobham seized their opportunity and broke down the disarrayed defence with a series of offloads. The scoreline at halftime read 19-0.

Fast forward

So that’s how we got here. They say history doesn’t repeat itself but it sure does rhyme and it was not hard to draw parallels between our situation and our match against Horsham the week before. Though as great men have said, ‘winning teams win’ (Joe Caravan 2021, Abraham Lincoln 1865.) Even against such a deficit, Hammers were not out yet, and with hearts and minds clamouring for battle and for blood, sweat and tears past not to be shed in vain, eighteen men once again took the field.

The Hammers response was ferocious. With succinct and concise phase play, Hammers broke into the Cobham 22. After some heavy forwards carrying, the ball found itself wide where it was juggled between James Lo and Joe Caravan over the try line before Harry Scarr dealt the decisive blow. Within minutes, Rich Vaughan, like a bolt of Zeus’ wrath across the night sky, blew down the centre of the Cobham defence to dive down between the sticks. James Lo soon followed his example and bearing a youth and pace far before his years, crashed over the line to even the scores. Not long after, Tim ‘le Snac’ Russell, already rumoured to be the subject of Taylor Swift’s next album, powered through the would-be Cobham defence to put Hammers ahead by 7. Hammers were finally in control at 26-19.

Then disaster struck. With ten to go, Harry Scarr collided head-first with an opposition player and despite claims of lactose intolerance, the referee handed him the cheese, removing him from the rest of the game. Down to 14, Ed Wynne finally got to live his dream as he moved into the second row, forcing Zander Stephens to drastically rethink our lineout jumping options. Five metres out, Cobham mauled but were halted. The Hammers defence was tested by wave after wave of relentless offence until finally, our opponents broke through. With six to go, the scores were level at 26-26.

A draw was no better than a loss, both were unacceptable. No matter the odds, no matter the challenge. Having reclaimed possession off the kick-off, the forwards threw everything on the line. Phase after phase, carry after carry. Gradually, Hammers worked their way up the pitch. Into the 22. Another yard, a metre, an inch. The clock ticked into the red. Time was up. This was the last play. Metre after metre until at last, we entered their 5. There could be no mistake, no error, no getting held up. And then the opening came. Having sucked in their defenders just enough, the ball was whipped out to Bryce Morgan who ran a line so piercing it could have cut diamond. With captain Caravan adding the extras, Hammers were victorious 33-26.

 

Hammers 1st XV too strong against determined Cornish

The Hammers headed down to London Cornish in the freezing cold with the expectation to come away with 5 points straightforward points, however, this became a trickier task due to Storm Arwin.  With Hammersmith losing the toss and being forced to play the first half uphill into the strong wind, they knew that they were in for a tough first 40.

Cornish started off very brightly with them coming close to scoring within the first 10 minutes, however, the Hammersmith defense could not be beaten.  Although the defense held strong and had forced Cornish back to the 22-metre line, a soft penalty was given away and Cornish opted to take the shot at goal, which they successfully converted and led 3-0.  Following the kick off Hammersmith’s discipline slipped and led to consecutive penalties being given away and thus more pressure being applied on the defense, although Cornish couldn’t turn this pressure into points, the frustration within the Hammersmith squad was piling up  This pressure was however was lifted on the 26th minute when Rich Vaughan put on his dancing shoes and after receiving the ball on the right-hand wing stepped his way through 4 Cornish defenders to finish his run under the sticks and giving the Hammers the lead.  Joe Carolan with the conversion.  The rest of the half was sloppy with neither side looking close to scoring until Hammersmith on the cusp of halftime crossed the try line only to be held up by a fine piece of defense by London Cornish.

As the 2nd half kicked off the Hammers knew that with the wind in their sails, they could play the free-flowing rugby that we all know and love.  After some consecutive phases and the Cornish defense being pulled left and right, the ball was spread wide one final time before a smart pass by Harry Scarr put Peter Bicknell away to score in the left-hand corner, Captain Carolan missed the tough conversion.  Shortly after the restart, Hammersmith applied further pressure and it didn’t take long for the debutant Ben Quaqua after running a smart line and bulldozing a couple of Cornish defenders to get over the line for Hammersmith’s 3rd try, converted by Carolan.  There was no stopping the Hammers now, with another smart break down the right-wing Rich Vaughan threw a potentially forward offload along the floor to Ben Dugdale, who embraced his inner Ronaldo and fly hacked the ball past the last Cornish defender before dotting down.  Following the try, Cornish came back and started to once again to apply some pressure on Hammersmith, with some smart offloads taking them all the way into the Hammer’s 22.  Discipline once again was proving to be Hammer’s downfall and after numerous penalties, Steve John was shown yellow.  However, Cornish couldn’t make the extra man count and the pressure they were inflicting couldn’t be turned into points.

The final 15 minutes saw the Hammers put the contest to bed, after some fantastic attacking flair shown, Ben QuaQua went over the whitewash to add to his tally for the day.  The hattrick wasn’t far behind after some great lines run by the Hammer’s attack, QuaQua picked up off the base of a ruck and from 5 metres out he wasn’t to be stopped and bagged himself his debut hattrick.  Cornish did manage to get over the whitewash themselves, but this was simply a consolation try which was rather deserved.  The game was concluded Steve Joh caught the ball on the Cornish 22 and the defense parted like the Red Sea and he trundled in untouched.

Another good day at the office for Hammersmith & Fulham who are very much in the running for promotion this year and will be hoping to continue their fine run of form against a tough Horsham side next weekend.

Final Score – 47-10

Hammers 1st XV lucky to get the win against a strong Horsham

Saturday 4th December. The skies were clear, the temperature was brisk and Hammers boys were frantically brushing their teeth to mask the smell of their work Christmas party from the night before. At the meet, the atmosphere was relaxed. Maybe a little too relaxed as no one had been assigned to pick up the kit.  Nevertheless, the boys got out and executed a great warm up. Talks of the setting being perfect to play our fast and expansive game were in the air. Everyone was feeling good, and the shirts arrived just in time for kick off.

Horsham were our opposition for the day and they’d been in fine form of late. They had been really unlucky to lose a few of their games by only a few points and so were looking to change that. They started strong from the whistle and were looking to secure some points from a lineout on the Hammers 5m line. In steps the master of the line out. Our resident Scottish sensei was already in their heads and intercepted their line out using only his mind (and his go-go gadget arms). Unfortunately, our part time scrum half/full time DOD was not on the same wavelength. His head wanted him to kick from our own try zone, his legs did not, and he dropped the ball for Horsham to pounce on. The try was converted from an impressive kick from the side line and you could hear our Head Coach grinding his teeth.

Hammers needed to bounce back and as a captain should, Joe Carolan lead by example. Horsham looked to kick from their 10m line but could not get the ball over the huge stature of our captain who stands at a huge 5”11 according to his Hinge profile. Some close control with his feet and Joe went over near the posts before slotting his conversion. A few minutes after, Hammers found themselves playing their usual fast free-flowing rugby with the ball going wide to our most capped player J-Lo who used some dancing feet to get on the outside of his winger before executing a perfect chip and chase over the full back. Converted again by our captain.

Even though the score would suggest Hammers were starting to control the game, it would shortly become present that Hammers were being carried by a few individuals.

Mistakes again cost the home team. A misplaced box kick with a poor chase gave Horsham an opportunity to counterattack which they executed and scored near the sticks. With 10 minutes until half time, the opposition scored 2 more tries. One in the forwards from a lineout, the other a breakaway try from their 10m line due to a terrible pass off our own scrum from yours truly. You could see steam coming out of Marks ears. 2 of the 3 conversions were made making the score 26-17 at half time.

After receiving the hairdryer treatment from the coaches and some tactical changes for the team, Hammers started the second half fiercely. Debutant Huw Parks going through a gap on the oppositions 10m that parted like the red sea and scoring under the sticks with Joe converting again. The next 20 minutes saw some good play from both teams that resulted in 2 converted penalties for Horsham but also a yellow card. Even though the comms through the hammers team was to stop giving silly offloads, we continued to give silly offloads and butcher a lot of chances. Not the fast and expansive game we had discussed.

With 10 minutes to go, Joe Carolan stepped up again to lead by example scoring off a good backs move after Angus and Zander had linked up again in the lineout. 32-28 to Horsham with only minutes left.

Some people say that good things come from the unlikeliest sources. Others say that they come in small packages. I think both are applicable here. Now playing at 15 and with his DOD free pint secured, Ben Dugdale decided he wants to help the team secure the win with a try from a well worked backs move that AGAIN came from the forwards dominating their line out. Carolan’s 5th and final kick was also slotted making the final score 35-32. A great come back for the Hammers to keep pressure on the top spots. A great couple of bonus points for our opposition too who were unlucky to lose out at the end.

Man of the Match: Joe Carolan

DOD: Ben Dugdale

Hammers 4th XV show their class

On a brisk Saturday afternoon, the Hammers lads travelled away to Twyford Sports ground to face Wasps 2XV. A game where revenge was sought for the previous home defeat against a strong side. As the boys entered the grounds, harassed to pay an entrance fee (obviously the visible athleticism was going a miss), a noticeably large crowd awaits. Unfortunately for them, they were not there to witness Doug Maxwell’s finest Nicola Sturgeon look but the Ladies Premiership match.

Nonetheless, after a vigorous and loud warm up the Hammers’ team looked sharp and ready to face their opposition. With the game kicked off and the sun behind our backs, Hammers began to play some superb rugby, sticking to structure and stretching the opposition from touchline to touchline. After several phases, James Mitchell made a strong break through the smaller backline and great support play from Nick Turner resulted in a glorious try. Hammers’ increased their grip on the game with a length of the field effort from Matt Stevenson and a well worked try in the corner for George Nellany. Ed Haynes showed nimble footwork to step a number of Wasps’ defenders in space equivalent to a phone booth to race away for a try. Matt Stevenson managed another try, created through hard work from the forward pack, carrying hard to get front foot ball. Some crunching hits form Matt Durrant and Jakob Terry to name a few, provided the boys’ with great spirit and left Wasps’ dazed and clueless as to how to make breaks. Adam Heaps managed a solo effort, dummying his opposing number before rounding the fullback and showing some unexpected wheels. Replacements came a calling just before the sliced orange break with Matt Stevenson making an impressive solo break, only to go down like he had been shot by a sniper

The second half brought about the challenge of playing into a blinding sun and against a challenging wind. Wasps rejuvenated by the half time break managed to string together some promising phases of rugby, even managing to cross the Hammers’ line only to have it called held up. Hammers’ scramble defence was on full show throughout the early stages of the 2nd half. Unfortunately, a run of successive team penalties and Adam Heaps getting pinged for a high tackle led to the fly half getting put in the sin bin. As Adam went off and take up role of nominated team medic, the rest of the team held firm, riding out the opposition’s pressure. Even down to 14, the Hammersmith and Fulham boys managed to run in another 2 tries by Ed Haynes including a great defensive read leading to an intercept and 2 for Jamie Drysdale. Wasps’ hampered by a Tyson Fury wannabe (red card) managed to sneak a consolation try to finish the game 62-5.

A great win for the boys in red and thoroughly enjoyable to get one back from earlier in the season. Onto the next week before a well earned Christmas drinking break.

Tries: Nick Turner, Matt Stevenson x2, George Nellany, Adam Heaps, Ed Haynes x3 , Jamie Drysdale x2

Conversions: Steve Danby x 6

Man of the Match: Will Parker

DOD: Adam Heaps

 

Hammers 2nd XV hold onto top spot with gutsy win

The Hammers 2XV travelled away to 5th in the league Rosslyn Park Bs on a cold and blustery Saturday morning. Off the back of an excellent win against league title contenders London Welsh 2XV, the boys were feeling confident for back-to-back wins on the fast Rosslyn Park artificial turf. With Hammersmith playing with the wind in the first half, the game remained a tight affair for the majority of the first 40 minutes. The hammersmith scrum was on top form with the forward pack dominating Rosslyn Park at set piece, utilising this advantage in the dying minutes of the half, the boys opted to take a scrum penalty 5 metres from the Rosslyn Park line. Unable to handle the Hammersmith power, and with some excellent control at the base of the scrum, number 8 Ainsley Howard walked the ball over the line and doted down for the first and only try of the game. The try was smoothly converted by captain Huw Parks, despite the difficult windy conditions.

The second half turned out to be a cagey affair, with penalties and territory being traded backwards and forwards. The first points of the half came from the delightful penalty kick from Parks far out on the left-hand side of pitch against the wind. Parks call for a shot at goal seemed to be an audacious one. Undeterred by the wind, he stepped up and slotted the kick through the uprights, settling Hammersmith in to the second 40 minutes. Hammersmith then came under a period of pressure from Rosslyn Park camped within the 22, but stout defence from the entire team kept the Rosslyn Park team away from the line. Good game management by the boys and a further two penalty kick by Parks settled the game, which finished 3-16 to Hammersmith. Man of the Match was awarded to Huw Parks for his flawless kicking performance from the tee and steadfast management of the game from the centre of the field. This win solidified the teams position at the top of the league with one more game remaining before the Christmas break.

Special shout out to Mitch Lewis, who adorned the Hammers jersey for the final time this weekend before heading home to Australia. Following a solid hammers career, his final game was no different. He controlled the game from fly half putting in some sublime passes and subtle kicks, keeping the Rosslyn Park team constantly guessing. He left the field in true gladiatorial fashion sustaining a nasty cut above his right eye, leaving the UK with a nice souvenir to remember us by. Best of luck Mitch.

Hammers 3rd XV squeeze past a tough Hampstead

This was no weather to be outside and some would have rather spent this Saturday watching Netflix. The temperature was close to freezing, the rain was lashing the faces and the wind was blowing the flags off the pitch. It was rumoured that some Hammers, despite being on the team sheet, had preferred to stay at home in the warmth, fortunately others were called up at the last minute and rallied to the hammers cause.

With condensation on their Movember moustaches, the Hammers 3s were ready to defend the fortress Hurlingham. Starting the game into the terrible wind of storm Arwen and despite some valiant kicking, it was almost impossible for us to get out of our half. The conditions were difficult for both teams: poor passing, lots of knock-ons. But no excuses, the weather is the same for both teams, it’s winter rugby after all. Hampstead used the wind to keep the Hammers penned in and scored a try (after a fortunate bounce on a kick after sustained pressure on strong defence) and pressed the advantage using the wind to seal a couple of penalties. We were behind at the break, without having scored a single point.

Half Time Hammers 0 – Hampstead 16

In the second half we had the wind with us and with the help of some good touches, a solid scrum and some good mauls, we gradually started to gain the ascendancy. The main turning point of the game came when Ed Hayes had a break through running halfway to the edge of Hampstead’s 22 popping it from the floor for the team captain (in a rare spate of running for a front row forward) to go over and get us on the board. It put the fight back in the lads and the real hammers heart came through. The next try came from a hammers lineout on the opposition 5 with the maul going over with Nick Turner putting it down topping off a great day for the front row. The pressure was then on and a good use of the boot kept the lads down in Hampstead’s half. Eventually Hampstead had to relent to that pressure resulting in Ben England going over in a convertible position, which Steve Danby stepped up to the plate and slotted.

Hammers 17 – Hampstead 16 less than ten minutes to go the tension was cutting.

From the kick off we returned the ball to Hampstead’s  22 well and kept it there to ground out a 1 point victory. Got there in the end and the teams place at the top of the league continues, the Lads retired to the Wolf pack to escape the weather and for well fought for Beers at the Hammers Charity night.

Hammers come agonisingly close against London Welsh

It was a clear dry day, with a slightly stiff breeze as both sides arrived at Hurlingham Park with pints being poured, burgers on the grill and a reasonable crowd gathering.

London Welsh kicked off into the wind, and quickly put Hammers under pressure as perhaps the size of the occasion had gotten to some of the boys and nervous errors crept in. Deep in our own 22, someone needed to rise to the occasion and lead the way and rising highest was the long-haired heartbreaker Tim ‘Le Scooby-Snack’ Russell. Spying an opportunity, he plucked a floated pass out of the air and pinned his ears back for the full 90 metres to continue his prolific try-scoring form.
7-0 to the Hammers, five minutes gone.

Top of the table after 8 games doesn’t come by accident however, and Welsh showed their quality by coming back hard with some serious forward pressure. Ill discipline was costly and penalty kicks to touch allowed Welsh to set up their driving maul, and from this platform they scored thrice in quick succession to leave the score looking far less rosy from a Hammers perspective, 7-21 after 30 minutes.

Up until this point it would be fair to say that Hammers had shown a little too much respect to their opposition, and it took a yellow card from a dangerous high tackle from the Welsh Captain to provide a bit of spark. For the last five minutes of the half Hammers had the bit between their teeth and went into the break disappointed that they had let the score line get away from them.

Hammers began the second half strongly, a scrum on the halfway line led to a set piece move in which centre Peter Bicknell blasted his way through the Welsh midfield and around the cover defence to score in the corner. The conversion was just pushed wide, leaving the score at 12-21 with 35 minutes of rugby left to play.

Frenetic would be a fair description of the next period of the game. Hammers spent long periods in the Welsh 22 but struggled to find that crucial breakthrough. After some quick hands through the backs released substitute winger Bryce into the corner, Hammers were incensed that the reckless dive from the Welsh covering tackler led to naught due to the ref’s view being blocked. This energy led to a score not long after, with flyhalf Pete Morris wriggling through the defence and reaching out to place the ball on the scoreline. With Captain Carolan knocking over the extras it was a two point game with ten minutes to go.

When reattaching Bryce’s head some of the wires must’ve got crossed, and his ‘over exuberant celebration’ after Morris’s try led to Welsh having a penalty from the halfway line instead of the usual restart. Welsh once again showed their fortitude by using this platform to launch an attack which saw them score an unconverted try and gain a little bit of breathing space on the scoreboard, as well as the bonus point. 26-19 after 72 minutes.

After the ensuing restart and a good clearance kick, the Hammers fullback Marshall MacLeod decided to do his best Marionette impression after taking contact and being held up by the Welsh defence. From this scrum in the middle of the park Welsh again launched deep into Hammers territory, eventually scoring in the corner. At this point there was a translation error, with the thick Scots accent of Hammers 9 Ross Anderson being mistaken for naked outrage by the referee, who showed him a yellow and told him to take an early shower.

For the last five minutes Hammers showed some serious fight, and launched attack after attack in the Welsh 22, only being stopped by repeated blatant infringements at the offside line and ruck, giving the referee no choice but to pull the card out of his pocket once again for the Welsh openside flanker. With the final play of the game Hammers finally crossed the line, to earn two bonus points and a final score of 26-31 to London Welsh.

Man of the Match was awarded to Peter Bicknell for his tireless efforts punching holes in the midfield and giving front foot ball. Dick of the Day was reserved for Ross Anderson, there will be a collection at the next home game to provide him with some elocution lessons.

Final Score:
Hammersmith and Fulham 26 – London Welsh 31

Try Scorers:
Tim Russell
Peter Morris
Peter Bicknell
Joe Carolan

Hammers 2nd XV take down London Welsh

The day was Saturday the 13th of November year of our lord 2021, it was a mild November day dry and about 14 degrees at Hurlingham park where this titanic top of the table clash was to take place. Despite this mild weather Huw Parks still found it cold enough to wear his Welsh Students warm up top, which was a point of contention as we were about to play London Welsh, getting his DOD nomination in early.

Despite the uncertainty over Huws’ allegiance there was a palpable excitement amongst the team during warm up, lineout darts were looking sharp, Nugget was in his finest Merrell hiking boots and the backs were looking slick. The only concern was from Rich Vaughn who was concerned the wind was blowing South Easterly not Easterly, another putting in a strong DOD nomination.

The game kicked off with great ferocity, some strong kick chasing straight from the off caused errors all over the Welsh backline. With ball in hand the carrying was aggressive, strong carrying from the pack put the Welsh defensive line under more pressure resulting in a handful of penalties. We managed to win a penalty and put ourselves in the corner for an attacking lineout 5 meters out. As in the warmup, the darts were sharp, and a powerful maul saw Max Imfield over for the first points of the game. Conversion missed 5-0 to the hosts.

The pressure kept on showing as the penalty count of the visitors mounted, Huw Parks proved his loyalty by slotting a 3 pointer between the sticks making it 8-0.

The Welsh gathered their composure and after seeing our impressive structure scored their first points of the game by using a driving maul. Conversion missed putting the score at 8-5.

The second half was closed out by some strong Hammersmith pressure, the Jacks and Queens flying into the Welsh defensive line, strong carrying from the back row allowing Ash Mitchell to win a penalty in front of the sticks. Hammers opted for the 3 pointer and there was no mistake from Mr Parks. Score at halftime 11-5.

The second half started in much the same way as the first half, with unbridled aggression. This resulted in another penalty to Hammersmith in the Welsh 22. Huw got his first points of the second half with another fine kick to make it 14-5.

However, London Welsh rallied after this and after several phases of defence on our own line Welsh dove over out wide to score a try. Conversion made 14-12.

This was the wakeup call Hammers needed to close out this game, like the ice bucket challenge the attack was refreshed. Strong running from Rich Vaughn and Sam ‘the eel’ Nursey put Rufus Falkner-Lee into acres of space, as he galloped down the line like a gazelle, the hopes of the crowd were lifting as a try would seal out the game. However instead of feeding the ball to the fullback in a 2 on 1. He decided he was Louis Rees-Zammit and kicked the ball straight into the opposition fullback and instead of letting the ball go into touch for an attacking lineout, he decided to be charitable and carry it out himself. A really strong DOD nomination.

Despite the self-sabotage from Rufus, we managed to win the ball back, compound pressure which resulted in a penalty and Huw Parks made no mistake from the tee. Score 17-12.

During the final minutes, nerves were jangling, as the crowed watched on with great anxiety. The seconds managed to absorb the pressure. Matt Newman, decided enough was enough, went from Scrumhalf to flanker to secure a game winning penalty.

Fulltime Hammers 17 London Welsh 12.

Try: Max Imfield x1

Penalties: Huw Parks x4

Man of the Match: Scott Howe

DOD: Rufus Falkner-Lee

Wordsmith: Chris Ralph