Sledgehammers make it 2 in a row!

It was Friday night lights for the SledgeHammers, with London Grasshoppers the chosen venue for a game that promised much despite a week of biblical rain.

The field was in surprisingly good shape and the changing rooms were rammed after a huge PR/Whatsapp blitz from Rogan. With 4x dropouts (no names!) and a female physio strapping away in the visitors changing room (no HR department at Grasshoppers clearly), the team took to the evening fixture in good spirits, no doubt much encouraged by the outstanding female touchline contingent.

Early complacency by the Hammers, no doubt compounded by the disorganised Grasshoppers warmup and their eclectic player lineup of all shapes, sizes and ages, led the opposition to score first with a soft try under the posts. It was a true Hammers start in even sense, showing that whilst time may have shaved a few mph off their top speed, the great Hammers tradition of gifting the oppo an early try lived on!

It woke the boys up. Benefiting from Ed Clark taking the game by the scuff of the neck from 9, Doherty at 10 began to use the width and pace outside him at his disposal, feeding the ball to Tony B and James Lo who ran around the laconic relaxed Grasshoppers defence. James Horrex wanted to get in on the action, and fuelled by his three packets of Harribos from his drive to Isleworth , he decided to score no less than three tries, back to back, assisted in his endevours by Hammers playmakers whose intent was more “cup game” than “vets run around”. Clarky very clearly hadn’t had any action the night before and put all his energy into driving the forwards around the pitch, whilst Locky Skulander and Ed Haynes brought their usual physical presence to the Hammers defence and scored a number of turnovers that were quickly transitioned into the waiting hands of Will North. In what was a vintage James Cramp performance, the score opened up even further as he lumbered around with surprising alacrity, at one stage trundling up the pitch for a 40 meter gain. Sexy Rugby, and good hands.

The opposition had three players of note on the field. A Full Back with toe capped boots that seemed to be able to kick further than the entire field (which disheartened the Hammers middle aged pack on several occasions), a 10 that appeared to have had his Weetabix, twice, and an 8 that had clearly added testosterone to his morning fry ups for at least a month. One of the Grasshoppers locks also warrants a mention for his sheer size; a prop that was so enormous in every proportion that he had been slipped into the second row, no doubt in a custom made shirt. Well played lads, we’ve all been there.

Further tries from Jlo (2), Tony B (spurred on by his onlooking (and rather fetching) Dorris), North (2), Haynes (1), Reilly (1) and a remarkable try from Money in the last minute, aided by conversions from Si, Jlo and Crampy made the score a healthy 62-19.

With very little more to say about the standard, the teams retired, having had great fun for cottage pie and pints in the Club Bar, which was seriously up-market for a local club.  Onto the next game, and lets keep it going.