Sunday morning, I wake up in a cold sweat. head pounding with few memories from the night before thanks to a successful Hammerween- I had a nightmare in which Max Dugdale is the club’s leading try scorer. Shaking, I reached for my phone and tried to piece together what had happened the day before…. A Happy Hammerween it was.

Hammers turned up to Camberley fashionably late- A tactical tweak made by our bus driver, who seemed to believe that a shortened warm up would provide the fast start that we had been missing.

Inspired by Marshall’s quiz and the assurances of immortality should the lads manage to be the first Hammers team to defeat Camberley away from home, the lads strode out and decided the best form of attack was in fact defence. Of the 40 minutes in the first half, Hammers defended for approximately 35, conceding 1 try and 2 yellow cards. Despite this alarming start, Hammers were defending with vigor- Josh and Dan’s akimbo throwing themselves at anything that moved. Hammers also managed to avoid conceding any points during the yellow card periods (Josh and Joe for some well crafted gamesmanship, perfected on the training ground, but caught by the referee).

The smiles were there to see for their first “W” of the season!

Back up to our full 15, Hammers managed to retain the ball for longer than 3 phases and from a strong scrum, a slick Hammers set piece resulted in Max Dugdale – “tap in” merchant – dotting down in the corner for our first points of the game on the stroke of half time. Joe was unable to convert from the touchline, but it was an all important momentum swing for the lads leading in to the half, or so we thought as Camberley immediately responded with a try of their own- Hammers 5-12 Camberley.

Half Time, and some stirring words from Ryan.

With the lads motivated by a strong defensive half and clear chances to be had with ball in hand, there was hope for some points on the road, however within 5 minutes Camberley had managed to wriggle over from short range and made a comeback even tougher for a team with an impressive home record. However, the Hammers were not to be defeated that easily and from 17-5 down, the remainder of the second half provided a polar opposite performance from both teams, with Hammers taking control of possession and field position. A flowing hammers backs move allowed Tim to break wide with Hammers flooding through to support. The ball inside to Gregor and a right foot step sent him under the sticks for a 7 pointer, converted by Joe. Hammers sensed an upset on the cards. Two well taken tries from Joe, both self-converted, sent the away fans in to delirium and Bryce Morgan to show tremendous touchline mana in front of Rogan’s camera.

With a twitchy 9 point lead and Ryan’s command of ‘CONTROL!’ ringing in the ears of the lads, ‘Fan of free pints’, Gregor decided that a quick restart was the right option – perhaps a certain Frenchman’s style of quick and purposeful Rugby was still fresh in his mind from last season? Despite this, Hammers defended like their lives depended on it for the remaining minutes of the half and with Camberley in possession just outside of the 22, forced a turnover which Gregor duly booted out, completing the win.

A first win of the season for Hammers and hopefully, a sign of things to come with performances improving week-on-week and tries beginning to flow. A rest week next up and then we welcome Jersey to fortress Hurlingham for a double header.

Man of the Match – Joe Carolan

Fresh off the back of the previous week’s triumphant victory over Kilburn, Seb Money’s Destroyers made the short trip to Barnes on Saturday and came away with a hard-fought 27–24 win — equal parts sharp rugby and sheer bloody-mindedness.

The first twenty was all Hammers. The backs clicked from the off, moving it quickly and actually looking organised for once. Jordan Brown crashed over under the posts for the opener after a few tidy phases up front, before Jules Storey ran in a couple more — classic support play off some slick hands in the backs. It was proper rugby for a spell. The only downside was Jordan Opie’s boot off the tee: one conversion charged down; another scuffed from close range. Still, the scoreboard looked good and Hammers were in control.

Then Barnes started leaning on their two enforcers in the back row — each roughly the size of a transit van and twice as mean — and for ten minutes it looked like a live-action crash test. Every carry was a collision, blokes getting folded, bodies everywhere. They managed a couple of scrappy breakaway tries to keep themselves in it, more through chaos than structure, but the Destroyers hit back before the break with a tidy finish from Nathan Woolley in the corner. Somehow, Hammers absorbed the pressure, stuck to their shape, and went in deservedly on top.

The second half turned into something straight out of a pub car park. Nathan Smith took a cheap shot and made sure the bloke knew about it — bit of push, bit of shove, one high tackle later and he was sat in the bin wondering how he was the only one punished. A few minutes later, Theo West chopped one of their big lads from behind off a quick tap — about fifteen metres offside — and joined him. Down to thirteen.

Barnes fancied themselves at that point, and things started getting spicy. Their skipper got mouthy, Jordan Brown took exception, and promptly bitch-slapped him across the chops — the sort of thing that doesn’t show up on the stats sheet but really sets the tone. To his credit, he channelled the energy the right way soon after, beating a couple of defenders and crashing over in the corner for his second of the day, swinging the momentum back Hammers’ way. After the earlier kicking chaos in the first half, Cameron Roberts took over the tee duties but didn’t fare any better.

Hammers dug in. Barnes threw everything at the line, but the Destroyers scrambled, tackled, and somehow saw it out. A proper gutsy win from a side that refused to fold. Jules Storey took a well-deserved Man of the Match — two tries, sharp all game, and a constant threat with ball in hand. With both binned lads disappearing early, Jordan Opie picked up Dick of the Day honours for his work off the tee.

Seb Money, ever stoic at the helm, marshalled his legion of men to yet another victory — quietly reinforcing his status as the club’s most successful captain so far this season, maintaining his 100% win record. Honourable mentions also to debutants Theo West, Scott Ewen, Abdi Aden and Dan Hogg, who all slotted in seamlessly and made immediate impacts on and off the field.

It was a mild Friday night as the Hammersmith & Fulham “SledgeHammers” finally dusted off their boots after a three-year sabbatical from Vets Rugby —though for some, it looked more like a retirement comeback tour. Despite fielding a squad comprised of Hammers legends, some questioned if the Hammers were less about blistering pace these days and more about blister plasters, doubts that were not assuaged by prop Ade Furniss leading a total body sub-5 minute warm up. Which all agreed was adequate preparation for a game of contact Rugby on a dark October night featuring a group of middle aged men, many of whom hadn’t done any cardio since their last bout of “meat sweats” at Goucho. What would the night bring…

With knees creaking louder than the clubhouse door and fitness levels best described as “aspirational,” they lined up ready to prove that experience (and maybe a few pints) still counts for something. Their opponents today? The London Cornish Baas Baas, in reality a mixed side of London Welsh, London Cornish, and a handful of London Japanese. This United Nations of Rugby Teams were themselves tentatively re-entering the league, butchered as most clubs were by COVD, the passage of time, Hyrox, careers, and the arrival of vampire kids. None of that mattered tonight though – both sides just wanted to feel the joy that comes from playing with your mates, the pride that comes from a well-executed tackle, and the satisfaction one gets from feeling a crisp Gilbert in your hands.

Newcomer Alistair Hare had the honour of being the first Hammers vet to feel that crisp Gilbert in his hands, catching the ball at the kick off. He felt it for about 2 seconds before getting smashed by a wheezing Baa baa second row, but felt it he did. The boys were off!

With Cornish jumping on the loose ball, the SledgeHammers were now defending, and it didn’t take long for the old shoulders to get proper warm. Ade Furnish, a Turf Games acolyte, showed what being the best at exercising could bring, laying down some huge hits against the sizeable Baa Baa pack and stopping them dead. With Lachy Skulander, one of the younger cohort of Hammers, hunting for tackles in the mid-field, it didn’t take long for the boys to force a turn over. Will Finn – his jersey especially made of boyfriend material – dug the ball out of the ruck, and fed former Hammers coach Ronan Murphy at 10. Always a believe in the “get the ball to Jlo” school of Rugby, Ronan’s long pass found the waiting hands of James Lo, who pulled a classic “catch me if you can” and rang 50 meters to score. The kick converted by Ronan, 7-0 to the SledgeHammers. It boded well.

The Baa Baas weren’t – as the saying goes – there to f**k spiders though. They came straight back at the Hammers, pressuring Ed Farrer off the kick off and regathering the ball. Playing a direct style of Rugby, round and round the corner they came, their big runners targeting the shoulders of Jacob Murray, Tim Lowndes and Ed Haynes. There was nothing casual in the hits as both sides wound back the years. Another turnover was forced, but this time the direct running Cillian Waldron was snagged and brought down. Phases later, Cornish won a scrum feed, and despite Arthur “Pig” Woodward and his fellow front rowers more than holding their own, a slick Cornish clearing pass found some waiting hands, from which their darty 11 scored under the posts. The scores are now even.

It started to get spicey. Ronan put the restart high and allowed the boys to pressure the catcher.

Bang.

Ade folds him.

Boom.

Jacob Murray and the now-arrived Dave Wickman double tackle their 8.

Smash.

Lachy bruises their second row’s DNA. Turnover! And in a replay of the first try, and quick series of passes through Ronan, Waldron, and Tony B’s hands finds JLo, who adds to his numbers and scores out wide. 12-7.

From here, the game slows, and the Baa Baa’s deeper bench comes into play. Bringing on their “Gout Squad”, strong Baa Baa counter rucking and a lack of Hammers shape sees an arm wrestle develop. The game i

Ade Furniss, man of the match

s close, but the Baa Baa play the territory more effectively. Ronan Murphy shows his legendary cool, calm and collected approach to Rugby, and seeks to politely share his views as to the Baa Baa 13’s carry height. You can take the boy out of Ireland, but you better put him on parole….

A Sledgehammers forary into the Baa Baa 22 is returned via a long Baa Baa counter kick. It finds the hands of Rogan who – showing everyone why he’s a front row – promptly catches then drops the ball over the sideline. The Baa baa’s lineout finally starts to function and they keep the ball away from Master of the Air Lachy. The ball goes through the hands, and phases later they score by the posts. 12-14 to the Baa Baas.

The Hammers bench empties. John Kirkham takes the 9 mantle and lays down some hate on their opposite 13. Sean Richardson starts pulling the strings from 10, but the boys are running out of bodies come ruck time and can’t secure quick ball. More Cornish pressure results, and despite Ade’s best efforts to decapitate their 15, the referee decides the “games gone soft” and penalises the boys. This time, a Baa Baas maul. They score. 12-19.

There is razzle, there is dazzle, but there are also hamstring tweaks and dead legs. Tony B limps off, while Ade Furniss needs a rest. Adam Jones threatens the line but can’t break through. Ed Farrer – with 80 minutes to play the next day on his mind – bravely breaks through, only to drop the ball close the line.  A thundering counter run down the sideline by the Baa Baas eventually leads to another score. 12-24.

The closing stages of the match feature the Hammers banging away at the Baa Baa’s line, but they run out of time.  The boys are elated though. For many, this is the first game of Rugby since before COVID, and all thoroughly enjoyed the outing and importantly, running out with their mates. Ade Furniss is awarded a well-deserved Man-of-the-Match, and Rogan a thoroughly well-deserved Dick-of-the-Day.

Onto the next game, the 14^th November!

And so it came to pass, that on the 18^th day, of the 11^th month of the 25^th year of the 21^st century, Hammersmith & Fulham did something that they had not done in several years by putting out 4 sides. The Hammers had seen a massive serge in new blood and had gone from one extreme if having to tell guys they couldn’t get a game because of lack of numbers at the start of the season, to having to tell players they couldn’t get a game because we had more players than available spaces the week before. This week, the gods were on our side and we were able to get 4 full sides out.

The opposition for the Seb Money Destroyers were a Kilburn Cosmos side that much like the destroyers, were made up of new blood and both sides were eager to put in good performances. With the toss going in favour of the Hammers, Kilburn were given the task of having to play up hill in the first half, a decision that worked in favour for the 16 visitors from South West London.

The first 20 minutes of the first half saw both teams not threatening each others try line with most of the game being played between the 2 22 meter lines. It was the Hammers however that with second row Oscar Newcombe crashing over the line from close distance to get the first score. Jordan Opie missed the conversion and the score was 5-0. This was the moment that gave Hammers a kick as Hammers soon found themselves back on the attack and after some well worked moves and carries from the hammers pack, Hammers found them selves over the line with debutant Sam Coughlan crossing the line. Jordan Opie slotted the conversion to make it 12-0

Kilburn hit back soon after and a driving maul from a lineout made it 12-5 to the Hammers. With half time soon on us Hammers pushed for another score, and this they got from another debutant in the form of number 12 Jonny Francis. This was the last score of the half.

HT Hammers 17-5 Kilburn

Hammers knew that the first score of the second half could be crucial in deciding the game and it was the strong second 20 in the first half that saw us on the attack early in the second half with Jordan Oppie crossing for another try for the Hammers to make it 22-7. With Kilburn tiring from having the uphill in the first half as well as the Hammers forwards causing havoc in the scrum, holes started to appear and after a good Hammers lineout, another debutant  Jules Story danced through the defence for his first try of the afternoon. Jordan converted to make it 29-7.

Soon after this, Hammers found them selves back on the attack and front row debutant Dan Ursell went over in the corner after a sublime crossfield kick from scrum half Seb Norris to make the score 34-7. Kilburn answered soon after and soon found themselves scoring their second try of the game to make it 34-10. Their try scorer left his mark on the nose of yet another debutant Karl Bartrum, the result was a broken nose for the back row as he coped a elbow to the nose trying to stop the try. The last play of the game saw the Hammers back in the Kilburn 22. A lineout lead to Jules Storey crossing over for his second and Hammers 7^th try of the game. The try was converted to make the final score 41-10 to the men in red.

Man-of-the-Match went to scrum half Seb Norris for controlling the game so well at 9. The boys enjoyed the victory with some well earned beer with the opo before heading back to the comfort of SW to watch the 1s and 3s in their search for victory and the hope that Club chairman will be providing beer if all teams won, we were hopeful of this after hearing of the Bastard 2s 13 try thumping of Richmond. When we arrived we got to see the mighty 3s come out on top after a bruising game against Harringey but unfortunately, the 1s got sunk by a last minute try by Bracknell.