1st XV put in stellar performance to keep their hopes alive

The fate of middle earth hinged on the outcome of the Battle of Helms Deep in Tolkien’s epic three-part trilogy. And like that famous battle, Hammers’ season depended on today, on the Battle of Camberley (at home…), for the boys to take home 5 points in the fight between good and evil.

The plains of Hurlingham Park had held up well, with the bookies describing the ground as good-to-firm. And a good job too, as this was going to be a Grade 1 straight up shootout against some relentless Camberley Uruk-Hai. And Ben Dugdale, brother of Max, had placed a £50 straight bet on Hammers +20…

After the usual pre-match rituals (most notably the Resident Dan’s, huddled in a corner of the changing room, fastidiously speaking a prayer of good fortune in their native tongue) the Hammers men took to the paddock. Unfortunately for Hammers, the start was all too familiar, and despite previous mystic well wishes to the rugby gods, three quick penalties had Hammers camped on their own line within 5 minutes. No-less, step up Dan Perry. Like Borimir, but without the hair, a crunching tackle was dealt on our 5 metre line forcing a knock-on. Fast forward a few phases, and with a well earned penalty by Marshall Macleod, Hammers are out of trouble.

With the initial Camberley wave successfully weathered, the battle began to turn in Hammers’ favour. With a penalty placing us on their five metre line, Hammers piggies caught smell of a maul. And so it was. Like a George Stevenson locomotive, the piggies moved closer to the line, only for (soon to be piggie) Joe Carolan to take a bustling hard line to go over for the first of his three tries that day.

With the black gates open, a Marshall Macleod try swiftly followed. Not long after, Ben Dugdale, brother of Max, performed a heinous day light robbery. With Jacob Poulton and Zack Underwood forcing the Camberley scrum backwards, their 9 fumbled the ball at the eight’s feet then for his opposite number to pick pocket the ball and cruise under the posts from 30 yards out. Arrest that man!

All told Hammers went into half time 31-13 to the good. The message from coach and captain was a positive one – ‘don’t you dare screw this up’. However neither Ryan Gregory or Tommy Proctor had cause for concern. Like a salmon Dan Perry leaped into the sky to take the second half kick off. Upon landing, and urged on by his official support club (the entire Women’s section..), broke the line with magnificent gallop 30 metres upfield to the Camberley ‘22.

Such finesse set the tone for the second half. More tries followed from Marshall Macleod, Bryce Morgan and Joe Carolan. Enter Welsh rugby’s last hope – Chris Thompson – with a quick fire brace of tries and blistering pace which validated comparisons between him and Forrest Gump.

Hammers forwards applied the pressure and gave the backs the space to work throughout the second half. But this was a game in which Hammers needed to target 5 points, and a Camberley resurgence led to their try total reach three – one short of a four try bonus point. Despite the game put to bed on the scoreboard, the real war was only just beginning. Reminiscent of the siege of Gondor, Camberley kept coming at the Hammers defences, chasing that significant final try. Those defences held and held, even despite a woke yellow card which the author of this report shall not apologise to anyone for.

With great pride and bravery Hammers took a maximum 5 points from the game against close rivals. Camberley. A valiant effort from both sides, finishing 64-23.