The Sledge Hammers open their account!

It was a mild Friday night as the Hammersmith & Fulham “SledgeHammers” finally dusted off their boots after a three-year sabbatical from Vets Rugby —though for some, it looked more like a retirement comeback tour. Despite fielding a squad comprised of Hammers legends, some questioned if the Hammers were less about blistering pace these days and more about blister plasters, doubts that were not assuaged by prop Ade Furniss leading a total body sub-5 minute warm up. Which all agreed was adequate preparation for a game of contact Rugby on a dark October night featuring a group of middle aged men, many of whom hadn’t done any cardio since their last bout of “meat sweats” at Goucho. What would the night bring…

With knees creaking louder than the clubhouse door and fitness levels best described as “aspirational,” they lined up ready to prove that experience (and maybe a few pints) still counts for something. Their opponents today? The London Cornish Baas Baas, in reality a mixed side of London Welsh, London Cornish, and a handful of London Japanese. This United Nations of Rugby Teams were themselves tentatively re-entering the league, butchered as most clubs were by COVD, the passage of time, Hyrox, careers, and the arrival of vampire kids. None of that mattered tonight though – both sides just wanted to feel the joy that comes from playing with your mates, the pride that comes from a well-executed tackle, and the satisfaction one gets from feeling a crisp Gilbert in your hands.

Newcomer Alistair Hare had the honour of being the first Hammers vet to feel that crisp Gilbert in his hands, catching the ball at the kick off. He felt it for about 2 seconds before getting smashed by a wheezing Baa baa second row, but felt it he did. The boys were off!

With Cornish jumping on the loose ball, the SledgeHammers were now defending, and it didn’t take long for the old shoulders to get proper warm. Ade Furnish, a Turf Games acolyte, showed what being the best at exercising could bring, laying down some huge hits against the sizeable Baa Baa pack and stopping them dead. With Lachy Skulander, one of the younger cohort of Hammers, hunting for tackles in the mid-field, it didn’t take long for the boys to force a turn over. Will Finn – his jersey especially made of boyfriend material – dug the ball out of the ruck, and fed former Hammers coach Ronan Murphy at 10. Always a believe in the “get the ball to Jlo” school of Rugby, Ronan’s long pass found the waiting hands of James Lo, who pulled a classic “catch me if you can” and rang 50 meters to score. The kick converted by Ronan, 7-0 to the SledgeHammers. It boded well.

The Baa Baas weren’t – as the saying goes – there to f**k spiders though. They came straight back at the Hammers, pressuring Ed Farrer off the kick off and regathering the ball. Playing a direct style of Rugby, round and round the corner they came, their big runners targeting the shoulders of Jacob Murray, Tim Lowndes and Ed Haynes. There was nothing casual in the hits as both sides wound back the years. Another turnover was forced, but this time the direct running Cillian Waldron was snagged and brought down. Phases later, Cornish won a scrum feed, and despite Arthur “Pig” Woodward and his fellow front rowers more than holding their own, a slick Cornish clearing pass found some waiting hands, from which their darty 11 scored under the posts. The scores are now even.

It started to get spicey. Ronan put the restart high and allowed the boys to pressure the catcher.

Bang.

Ade folds him.

Boom.

Jacob Murray and the now-arrived Dave Wickman double tackle their 8.

Smash.

Lachy bruises their second row’s DNA. Turnover! And in a replay of the first try, and quick series of passes through Ronan, Waldron, and Tony B’s hands finds JLo, who adds to his numbers and scores out wide. 12-7.

From here, the game slows, and the Baa Baa’s deeper bench comes into play. Bringing on their “Gout Squad”, strong Baa Baa counter rucking and a lack of Hammers shape sees an arm wrestle develop. The game i

s close, but the Baa Baa play the territory more effectively. Ronan Murphy shows his legendary cool, calm and collected approach to Rugby, and seeks to politely share his views as to the Baa Baa 13’s carry height. You can take the boy out of Ireland, but you better put him on parole….

A Sledgehammers forary into the Baa Baa 22 is returned via a long Baa Baa counter kick. It finds the hands of Rogan who – showing everyone why he’s a front row – promptly catches then drops the ball over the sideline. The Baa baa’s lineout finally starts to function and they keep the ball away from Master of the Air Lachy. The ball goes through the hands, and phases later they score by the posts. 12-14 to the Baa Baas.

The Hammers bench empties. John Kirkham takes the 9 mantle and lays down some hate on their opposite 13. Sean Richardson starts pulling the strings from 10, but the boys are running out of bodies come ruck time and can’t secure quick ball. More Cornish pressure results, and despite Ade’s best efforts to decapitate their 15, the referee decides the “games gone soft” and penalises the boys. This time, a Baa Baas maul. They score. 12-19.

There is razzle, there is dazzle, but there are also hamstring tweaks and dead legs. Tony B limps off, while Ade Furniss needs a rest. Adam Jones threatens the line but can’t break through. Ed Farrer – with 80 minutes to play the next day on his mind – bravely breaks through, only to drop the ball close the line.  A thundering counter run down the sideline by the Baa Baas eventually leads to another score. 12-24.

The closing stages of the match feature the Hammers banging away at the Baa Baa’s line, but they run out of time.  The boys are elated though. For many, this is the first game of Rugby since before COVID, and all thoroughly enjoyed the outing and importantly, running out with their mates. Ade Furniss is awarded a well-deserved Man-of-the-Match, and Rogan a thoroughly well-deserved Dick-of-the-Day.

Onto the next game, the 14^th November!