A ruthless display, and a Krispy Kreme-fuelled shutout

A trip north to Pinner and Grammarians was on the cards for a very strong looking third XV. The crowd (two dogs and someone’s girlfriend) were treated to a glorious October day, and a red and white performance that was as sharp as the studs on Rob McKeon’s illegally long boots.

Pinner started brightly, moving the ball well and even threatening the Hammers’ half in the opening exchanges. But as quickly as they arrived, they evaporated — folding like a dodgy camping chair as soon as the first big carry came their way.

That carry, inevitably, came from Will Keyte. Man of the Match for a reason, he bulldozed through the middle of the park like a man late for his train and unwilling to walk around tourists. His carries had the Pinner back row checking their life insurance, and his work rate in defence was equally punishing.

The Hammers only led at half time 12-0 after a slow start, with the scores coming from Rob McKeon after a solid line out maul and Oscar Newcombe touching down after some good phase play, and truth be told were hampering themselves by trying a little too hard to score. However once the gates opened, it was a procession. A brace each from Fergus Cassidy and Gabe (surname TBC pending bar tab settlement) set the tone for a second half try-fest with the aforementioned wrecking ball Keyte completing the rout. In fairness, the boys probably left three or four more out there.

(Well, George Riley certainly did. A clear run-in, the line begging, the crowd already celebrating — and then… SPLAT. The ball hit the turf like a dropped pint. A clear-cut Dick of the Day only just beating Olly Bennett to the free pint by the skin of his teeth for doing the very same thing but only a bit further out! To coin a phrase from Al “it’s a game of inches”).

Despite the scoreboard domination, it wasn’t all rosy. Kick-off reception remains the Achilles heel of the 3s — with several restarts going uncontested, unclaimed, or simply misunderstood. Something to work on before sterner tests arrive.

In defence, however, the Hammers were granite. Pinner huffed and puffed, but the red wall stood firm. Not one single point conceded — a rare feat at this level, and a source of particular pride as the full-time whistle blew. Captain Rob McKeon, ever the showman, celebrated the clean sheet by literally handing out doughnuts to the squad afterwards — courtesy of a post-match box of Krispy Kremes. Poetry.

With fish balls and salt beef sandwiches laid out post-match (a combo someone described as “curiously Baltic”), the squad retired to the Temperance, carried by the Overground and several cans of Stella. Spirits high. Arms tired. Shirts stained.

A dominant win. A team finding its rhythm. And an ominous sign for whoever lines up across from them next.