Hammers 1s score two amazing tries!

Saturday /ˈsatədeɪ,ˈsatədi’/ (noun) – the day of the week before Sunday and following Friday, and (together with Sunday) forming part of the weekend. More commonly known as the day of the week “for the boys”

Where else would you want to be but with Ryan’s Raucous Reds! The mighty Hammers, hungry as ever for a win, took their talents to the Royal town of Tunbridge.

The boys arrived bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready for battle, post match pub crawls and a mastermind category of cheese, trees and disease. The energy in the changing rooms building up towards kick off, the boys nerves had settled following rousing speeches from Ryan, Tommy and Marshall but – most importantly – confirmation of running water.

Now for a town named after a shaft sunk into ground to obtain water you would think that a drought would be unlikely. However, the people of Tunbridge Wells had unfortunately been without water for a number of weeks up until this point. If you were wondering where the water has vanished to it had clearly been stored beneath the pitch – an absolute BOG (despite stellar work from the groundspeople to flood the sides of the pitch) did all but faze the mighty Hammers. You would need more than just a heavy pitch to put a stop to Ryan’s Red Men.

Kicking, catching, carrying and tackling – the Hammers drew first blood. A brilliantly defended 9 on 1 by Bryce Morgan in the wide channel (yes this is true – check the footage) followed by a well placed kick into the corner by Tedward Shand pinned the Royals back in their own 22. A clearance kick (boring) could not find touch but only the safe hands of Marshall MacLeod, carrying strongly into contact. With the “Dan” contingent of Perry and Hostetler following suit with imperious carries into contact – front foot ball had arrived. Brimming with confidence real joué was now on display – silky tip lines and aces leading to the ball finding its way to our ever-present, favourite Hammers winger with his luscious blonde locks… DAN WHITTS!?!? Breaking through the line and galloping down the wing, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.

The hammers approached the opposing 22, their attack now flowing like a river (ironic). Chris Thompson leaving defenders strewn across the ground as he did all day. Heads up rugby to keep the ball alive from Josh AA on his 50th cap – some say he does it for the love of the game, others say someone tested his gangsta – another signature line busting carry brought to a halt by 3 men of the Wells, surrounding him and checking if their girlfriends saw them bring down the man, the myth, the legend (Rogan wrote this bit i promise!) Quick recycling and precision passing led to an absolute peach of an inside ball from Tedward ShandyHands finding Marshall MacLeod on a scything line and over the whitewash untouched. Slotted through the posts effortlessly by Ben Dugdale (watching those kicking tutorials on the bus really paid off!) the boys were off to a flying start.

Hammers 7-0 Tunbridge Wells.

Scrums, mauls, lineouts and high balls, Ryan’s Rumbling Reds were hungry for more! Passages of play marked by slick handling, relentless defending, Dylan Bilski chasing boys back over the border that is the try line, the boys had locked horns in a war and refused to back down.

Banging on the door in the Tunbridge 22 the boys were relentless in their attack. A whopping 30 consecutive phases strung together but the Tunbridge defence stood strong. Strong until the Timmy Russell a Trojan stallion amongst the big brute forwards snuck in on a beautiful short line and over the line for another score. Unbelievable scenes of pure jubilation spearheaded by Gregor Watson as the boys had gone over for a try once again!!!

Hammers 14-49 Tunbridge Wells.

And thus the full time whistle blew. If you want to read about the tries that Tunbridge scored then you’re on the wrong website aren’t you.

See you soon when we take on Bracknell next.

MOTM: Josh AA (shock)