Hammers 4s XV defeat Wasps

Hi. How are you? Take a seat. Also, what have you been up to? I’ve just recovered consciousness from a significant night of post-rugby celebrations (disclaimer* this may impact the subsequent report). Anyways, do you ever wonder about the meaning of life? Well, I do. Even if there is reincarnation, the earth will be consumed by the sun in six billion years, and even if we find another galaxy to inhabit, the ‘Big Bang’ will subsequently lead to our universe imploding back in on itself: the way I see it- what’s the point?

So, it was with this in mind that we created the temporary buffer between our inexorable and relentless march towards death by playing rugby for the Hammersmith and Fulham fours on Saturday. This therefore lead to us playing against the men from Wasps in a highly anticipated and season-defining top of the table clash.

I don’t know about you, but I sure appreciate a strong hand. Currently led on the field by Stephen Danby, 22, Secondary-school owner and James Mitchell, 39, Pharmacy Technician, it was self-reported they had been brought within an inch of their lives during the week by player-manager, Nick Turner over their need to inject increased expression of emotion and passion within the team. It was this and the intense pre-game talks that therefore took us to the field with a mild sense of shame and self-loathing.

Despite this hurdle, the game started well with territory firmly camped in the opposition 22 metres. Persistent Forwards pressure combined with sending the ball wide worked brilliantly. It was rumoured they were threatened with being sent back down the coal-mines and so frequent runs from Drysdale and Draper carved the opposition to threads. It seemed as if the only thing that stood in our way was the touch-judge. After an initial break-through across the try-line (which excessive celebration has inhibited the recollection of), a subsequent sudden rampage across the line by Ali Johnston saw a further touch-down and consolidation of an early Hammers lead (the try-scorer’s legality status however remains yet to be ratified by WADA officials).

A solid lead was subsequently built, however a stern come-back via Wasps opportune scores in the second half brought the game to within touching distance. However, still fresh from winning second and third places respectively in a beauty contest, the brothers Mitchell charged over the try line in close proximity to collect timely points: Jack charged through the middle as if his Uncle’s horses depended on it, while James crashed over viciously through the waiting defenders. Young Dixie was noted for making several piercing runs from the back of the ruck while Dan Serf stole some much needed lineout ball and Antoine France later made some heavy tackles.

Have you ever seen human pain and suffering? Well if you answered yes, then you will have been firmly in your element- broken noses (and hearts) were the order of the day- Scott Ireland was left with scars and stitches indelibly etched on his face for the rest of life while Leon (noted for a couple of trademark hammering tackles and great try) was rewarded with a rearranged nose for his valiant efforts. Hammers held on to win 29-17 and remain in pole-position for season promotion.

This was a great team performance where backs and forwards integrated formidably. As a result the level of team shared love/passion rose from a 4.2 to 6 by game-end.

To finish with: while you may be sitting there thinking rugby is the ‘be-all and end-all,’ remember: the clock is ticking. Reading this article has brought you several minutes closer to your inevitable demise.

Tell them that you love them. Tell them to delete your browsing history. Choose meaning. Choose happiness. Choose KFC