July 2011
A Season in the Life of a Hammers Lady - 2010/11
September
Wimbledon (H): 7-45 First friendly of the new season against last year’s league victors. This London South West derby was an opportunity for the new girls to learn the Hammers’ way of rugby (hands) and show the old girls that there’s plenty of competition for the starting line-up. Wimbledon once again showed us why they got promoted but the game was far friendlier than the score suggests. Bring on the HammerDon return fixture in 2011.
Harlequins (H): 0-12
A skeleton Harlequins side made the trek to South West London. Although late in arriving and forced to beg players from the side-lines somehow managed to catch the Hammers napping in the opening few minutes to score two tries. The rest of the match was an even tussle and the Hammers were unlucky to not get one score for their efforts. Even though this went down as another loss, the moral victory was the Hammers as we lent them half a team!
October
Teddington (H): 5-3
And so to the start of the season proper and quite fittingly our opening match of the season was against our old enemy Teddington. The match itself was a close affair with both teams at times playing some great rugby but then also suffering with opening night nerves. In the end it was a narrow win against our West London rivals which kick-started our 2010-2011 campaign and left the team feeling confident to take on any challenge.
Portsmouth (A): 7-45
The next challenge it turned out was to be a 2 hour bus journey to sunny Portsmouth. Sadly there was no time for a quick visit to the beachfront as the Hammers had some smashing to do. And smashing they did, recording their biggest win of the season through determined centre play and a demonstration of running rugby from 1 to 15 that Portsmouth were not able to contain. Who says the Northern hemisphere can’t play running rugby.
Woodbridge (H): 5-22
MAN DOWN. Twice. Two ambulances and a pitch-change resulted in the longest game in the history of the Ladies team. The Hammers started this match well scoring the opening try of the match but this only seemed to galvanise a strong Woodbridge team and in particular the inside centre who did not know when to just fall over. In the end the Hammers came away with a respectable score line against the eventual unbeaten league toppers. Once against the moral victory was ours as both ambulances were for the opposition who it seemed just needed a bit of rest.
November
Ealing (H): 12-5
This match saw perfect conditions for rugby, if by perfect conditions you mean a monsoon and thunderstorm. Given the weather you would have expected both teams to keep it tight but once again the Hammers were determined to play running rugby and managed to score a couple of good tries. We also benefited from having a 16th man on the pitch as it seems that God was on our side, as a well-timed thunder clap caused Ealing to knock-on 5m from the try-line and allowed the Hammers to hold on for the win. Reports of the team performing a rain dance before every match thereafter have not been substantiated.
December
Romford & Gidea Park (H): 20-24 This game saw the Hammers Ladies enjoy the Christmas party the night before a bit too much and the league match the next day not so much after one too many white wine spritzers. For future reference all 2 pence pieces will be banned along with cute little bunny rabbits. The game itself was a disappointing affair with more players than usual unable to run straight. Even the sight of the Captain remonstrating with the physio, begging to be allowed to play on with a dislocated collar bone before being frogmarched off the pitch could not inspire a comeback.
January
Ashford (A): 24-18 Another tight match which was marred by some slightly dodgy refereeing decisions saw the Hammers come away desperately unlucky not to come away with a win. Great game awareness was shown with a much improved composure at the breakdowns and a smattering of interception tries but the team still need to work on playing the ref. The jury is still out on the post-match communal bath, can anyone say health and safety.
Portsmouth (H): 19-0
The team did well to rebound after the disappointment of the Ashford loss and although unable to rack up the same score as the away fixture were always in control of the game. The win was even more satisfying as our Captain had taken the Sunday off from the stresses and strains of looking after a bunch of girls, so it was in honour of her that we put the seaside dwellers to the sword.
February
Woodbridge (A): 34-10
So it came to the most eagerly anticipated match of the season. And when we say that we mean the most eagerly anticipated annual road trip to Little Chef. Never has a 3 hour bus ride held such reward. Unfortunately despite being fuelled by Olympic-breakfasts the Hammers were not able to shut-down Woodbridge’s extremely strong 10/12 combination, though the second half of the match did see the Hammers scoring some well worked tries adding respectability to the score line. The highlight of the post match festivities had to be our Captain getting upstaged by a pig streaking during her post-match speech and the Hammers haggling with the bar for takeaway drinks. Never has a journey home after a loss been so much fun (but we apologise for the singing).
Ealing (A): 8-0
Buoyed by the fun bus in the previous game the Hammers were ready to win big this time around. Sadly the unthinkable happened; we lost to Ealing, one of our greatest rivals. Our Captain once again tried to take one for the team by trying to take on the whole of the opposition singlehandedly, which only resulted in a trip to A&E and a rather impressive Don King style hairdo. Meanwhile the Vice Captain attempted a charm offensive on the referee but this just succeeded in giving away a penalty and a further 10 metres. Silence is truly golden. Next season revenge will be ours, oh yes it will be ours.
Hampstead (H): 5-5
Possibly the worst ever playing conditions for rugby but the best for bog snorkelling finally saw the Hammers come face to face with an old foe in Hampstead. Things were further complicated by the kits looking remarkably similar and within about 5 minutes it was hard to tell where one team ended and the other began. It was also a fitting occasion for an old Hammer to play her testimonial match for the Hammers and it was hard to tell whether those were tears of joy at the end for surviving 70 minutes or 7 years of rugby. In the end it was in the spirit of the occasion that the game ended in a draw and hot showers for everyone, followed by an epic farewell in the Wheatsheaf afterwards.
March
Romford (A): 10-0
After making the trek across London to Romford the team were disappointed to note that none of the “stars” from ‘The Only Way is Essex’ made it down to see all four of our tries get disallowed. It just wasn’t meant to be for half of Team Samoa’s final farewell but the team did enjoy bonding with the opposition over another England victory in the Six Nations and the East v West post-match theme.
Ashford (H): 20-7
Was it the flair running rugby or lack of communal bathing facilities that proved too much for Ashford as the Hammers put on a sterling display and came away with a strong win. The Hammers put on a solid display of hit-em-up rugby which drew in their defenders creating space out wide for the backs to attack.
April
Teddington (A): 7-14 Another game, another pitch-change. However, this time it wasn’t for our Captain. The Hammers spent much of the game trying to neutralise/not be crushed by a solid number 7 who could well have been the lovechild of Ciara and Baggers. A last minute try - see picture for classic try scoring technique (not) - saw the Hammers take the spoils in Bushy Park.
Hampstead (A): 21-19
Things started off rocky as the team lost a Coach somewhere in North London but were eventually reunited on the heath. Invigorated by this the team started well scoring two well worked tries and were looking comfortable until some disjointed play and possible heat exhaustion saw the Hammers gift three tries to the hosts. With the clock ticking the Hammers kept on knocking on the door and were able to score a try but sadly this was not converted and so the season ended on a frustrating note, until the teams reconvened in the pub! We look forward to once again facing Hampstead next season for some great social rugby.
Overall the Hammers Ladies finished a respectable fourth in the league, achieving our target for the season. But with a stable squad and high ambitions for next year we anticipate even more epic fruition (and hopefully more match reports being written during the season as this would make the end of year report more informative and accurate!). Bring on the 2011-12 season and from there world domination!
